From the monthly archives:

December 2004

Kapow! Happy New Year!

by alda on December 30, 2004

THE MADNESS IS UNDERWAY…

New Years’ Eve in Iceland, that is. For those of you who don’t know, fireworks are sold unrestricted to the general public here (well, you have to be at least 16 to buy them) and you can believe that there’s a fairly large demographic (read: young males who always manage to get hold of some, somehow) that simply itches in the skin for the sales to begin. The days leading up to the main event are fraught with random jump-out-of-your-skin-and-scream bangs, like gunshots going off outside your window several times a day. It may sound like a real blast (yuk yuk) but I’m here to tell you it ain’t. At least not when you’re past the age of 20, or thereabouts. Which Yours Truly is.

Meanwhile, tourists are being transported in by the planeful to catch a part of tomorrow’s action. Visitors numbers are up by a whopping 40% from last year, mostly Brits, Japanese and Americans, which in light of last year probably means there’ll be more tourists than Icelanders milling about. Which is all good and fine. The more the merrier, that’s my motto.

Now lest any of you wonder exactly what constitutes this spectacle of which I speak, here is a brief account of New Years Eve as Celebrated by the Average Icelandic Family in the Greater Reykjavík Area. (Ahem).

First, there’s a big and festive dinner, often involving party hats, balloons and crackers, and almost certainly booze. After dinner, party-hat-clad people head out to one of the huge bonfires scattered about the city where they meander about (some very drunkenly) and say hello to a bunch of their friends/acquaintances/neighbours. Now, these bonfires are not the hot-dog cookin’, marshmallow roasting, campfire kind. These are BIG bonfires, strictly controlled and all that, and in case you didn’t catch it the whole symbolism thing is the old year going up in flames. Oh, and people may or may not set off the odd firecracker or two while there.

So when people have had enough of this outdoor fireside mingling, getting one side of themselves scorched while the other side freezes, they head back home for the (almost) highlight of the evening which is… the Áramótaskaup! A one-hour television programme where the country’s best comedians do a send-up of all the main events/people of the year. In a country as small as this one (pop. 290,000 for those who’ve just joined us) everybody knows everybody’s business and everybody can laugh at the same jokes. Now, while it is on, the streets are absolutely deserted because this is compulsory viewing, being the subject of water cooler/coffee room discussions well into January. Whether the Skaup was any good this year, whether it was better than last year, everyone’s favourite little skit… that type of thing. And I have to say it does give you a warm, fuzzy feeling, sharing that hour with everybody in the country. Except the poor foreigners, of course, who sit and scratch their heads and wonder where all them fun-loving Icelanders went.

But when the Skaup is over – lookout! Mass exodus out onto the streets, especially up onto the nearest hill in any given neighbourhood, to LET THE PYROTECHNICS RIP!! AND THEY DO! AND EVERYBODY GOES OOOHH!! AND AAAHH!! AND IS SHOUTING FOR DAYS AFTERWARDS BECAUSE THEY CAN’T HEAR A THING! This lasts for about half an hour and what a wild and crazy show it is! None of those homogenized oh-so-perfectly planned firework displays for us, no sir. We prefer the do-it-yourself version.

So there you have it. And now all you Kiefer Sutherland fans Understand why Kief and co have chosen this as their Location of Choice to make a smooth and seamless transition into the New Year. Well, maybe. Because after all this is over, the partying starts downtown. And I don’t wanna even go there because, well, I just don’t go there. Prolly ‘cause I’m chicken. Very Drunken People have the ability to put me on edge just a wee bit. Besides the fact that they generally bore me to tears. So I tend to steer clear of the madness that is Reykjavík nightlife on New Years Eve.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GIVE US GOOD WEATHER…

Of course all Proper Icelanders are anxiously biting their nails – or should be – hoping the weather will cooperate. ‘Cause it doesn’t look too good. Looks like we may have wind. Meaning firecrackers getting blown horizontally across the sky. Or up people’s winter coats. Or their noses. Whatever. Wind is not cool. We want calm. And no snow, either, at midnight. Snow can come before or after, but not at midnight. ‘Cause if there’s snow we can’t see a damn thing. And that sort of defeats the purpose (especially when you’ve spent billions of Icelandic crowns on fireworks, like the Icelanders do each year).

And so… have a safe and happy New Years Eve, everyone!

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Shadow post

by alda on December 29, 2004

It’s kind of hard to blog when overshadowed by the horrendous calamities in Asia. The petty details of our lives here are pretty trivial when the newsfeeds keep rolling in with ever-more gruelling details and increasing death tolls. At present there are 10 Icelanders unaccounted for and as always when disaster strikes one is made tangibly aware of the sense of community here – if something happens to someone in the tribe, it is acutely felt. Meanwhile, Icelanders also share in the vast sense of loss experienced by the other Nordic nations – for they, too, are our community and our tribe.

Somehow the thought of the imminent New Years Party with the accompanying pyrotechnics and merriment seems vastly inappropriate under these circumstances. There’s definitely a shadow.

THE KIEFER FAN CLUB

… Or something similar seems to have latched on to yesterday’s curt post about Kiefer being in town ‘cause my site traffic shot right up. Hi guys! Wish I could give you play-by-play Kiefer reports, but I can’t, except to say that he’s being spotted in all these various bars about town, having a blast. And he’s been generous with the autographs ‘cause apparently he’s got good manners. That’s about all the paper says, or at least all I care to relate. ‘Cause the paper in question is of the yellow-press pulp variety and utter crap if the truth be told and I wouldn’t even know this much except that for some reason it appeared free outside my apartment door this morning.

However, I have discovered a sure-fire way of boosting my site traffic – jus’ mention somebody famous in the blog. Like – Jamie Kennedy is here! (true). And also Laura Harris! (true) And Eli Roth! (true) And Martin Scorsese! (unconfirmed) And Britney Spears! (false) And Madonna! (false) And Homer Simpson! (true … er, false). And … somebody stop me before I use any more exclamation marks! Please!

THE WEATHER

Whoa! Like, Storm Warning! Exclamation mark! The whole time I’ve been sick it’s been a picture-perfect fresh-white-snow-with-Christmas-lights-gleaming kind of scenario, and now – storm warning in effect, winds from the east, and moderate temps. All the snow turning to slush and blowing away in big globs. One can only hope it disappears completely before it freezes again, which is in the cards for tomorrow. Otherwise we’ll have slip-sliders packing the ER at the National Hospital, yet again. Sunrise was at 11.22; sunset scheduled for 15.38.

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Our Man Kief’

by alda on December 27, 2004

Deadpan headline on Icelandic National Radio at noon:

“Kiefer Sutherland is in town”

Iceland: cosmpolitan or provincial? Discuss.

[YT is still contending with Nasty Flu and will return to more substantial Weather Reporting in due course.]

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I knew that…

by alda on December 26, 2004

Little Kid: I know the Yule Lads don’t put presents in our shoe.

RE*: Oh really? Then who does?

Little Kid: The government.

* RE, daughter of EPI, was playing a Yule Lad at a little kids’ function where she met this astute Young Person.

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Christmas: the summary

by alda on December 25, 2004

CRIPES! THE SMELL!

Yeh, well. The skate party. YT ended her very lovely birthday afternoon by going to a rancid-skate party at EPI’s brother and sister-in-law’s. The smell wafted out to greet us way past the front door of the house and once inside it positively stung the eyes in all its ammonia-laced glory. Naught to do but imbibe some very potent (42%) Aquavit schnapps and dig in. It was YT’s first foray into the rancid-skate experience and blimey, that stuff will put hair on yer chest! A couple of Aquavits later, though, the smell-slash-taste became secondary to the sheer absurdity of sitting there with a bunch of very fun people eating putrid skate and laughing at the absurdity of sitting there with a bunch of very fun people eating putrid skate and laughing… well, you get it. It was all getting very existential by that point.

OH MY. THE NEXT DAY

YT got up and energetically carted her butt off to the fitness centre (ugh! Clammy sweaty air and stuck-up I-won’t-look-because-I’m-cooler-than-you people) to work out on the treadmill seeing as how it was Too Damn Freezing Cold to run outside. Never mind the heaviness in the head or the slight scratchy feeling in the throat.

Strangely, YT headed back home and promptly collapsed into bed with a high fever.

A high fever? Wait – this ain’t part of the plot! It’s Christmas, dammit, it’s not supposed to include…

Bzzzzt!

The doorbell.

It’s uncle B come to deliver some Christmas prezzies.

EPI: Hey! Come on in. D’you want anything? Coffee?

YT: Some flu, maybe?

UNCLE B: Oh, you’re sick too? That damn skate’s to blame, you know. I don’t understand why people persist in eating rotten food. The human race has developed an intricate sense of smell precisely to be able to suss out when food is not fit for human consumption. And putrid skate is not fit for human consumption.

So spake a very un-traditionalist Uncle B, beating a hasty retreat before he could listen to a discourse on how putrid skate actually clears the sinuses so is good for colds.

Anyway, old YT spent a horizontal day while AAH and EPI fussed about with the Christmas details. Then popped a couple paracetamol to reduce fever while Dinner was imbibed. And prezzies opened. Well, I held out almost for the whole thing. Was flaked out on the sofa towards the end of it, as AAH tore the wrapping off one prezzie after another. But it was a lovely, domestic evening all the same with my nearest and dearest at my side. Not to mention offering their frequent sympathies and waiting on my every need (which would have been utter bliss had it not been for the slight nuisance of a debilitating fever).

AND FINALLY..

Today, Christmas Day, YT was forced to remain in quarantine while everybody else went off to a Christmas party with EPI’s big and so-much-fun-to-be-with family. Sniff. Made the best of it by watching the 101 Best Moments in Show Business on E! which was surprisingly boring in light of the breathlessly exciting commercial hype that preceded it. Pfft! In fact, the best thing about it was YT actually sitting and watching the (mostly) empty drivel that is E! in her jammies without feeling guilty about it.

THE WEATHER

Has been dramatic this Christmas! Up north and out east there was a major major blizzard, with people being stuck in their cars for 12 hours on deserted rural roads waiting to be rescued and stuff. At Christmas, can you imagine. Can’t tell you what it was like around here ‘cause I’ve been in Confinement. But it looked pretty cold from the inside. Currently temps are around –3 degrees with slight wind. Now, I have to give you yesterday’s sunrise/sunset times ‘cause the paper didn’t come today and anyway we already know that the paper is bogus, but for what it’s worth: sunrise 11.23, sunset 15.32.

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Merry Christmas!!

by alda on December 24, 2004

Thanks everyone for your birthday greetings. So heart-warming!

Don’t forsee much posting until post-Christmas. But just because I hate starting something and not finishing it: here are the two remaining Yule Lads…

Ketkrókur - Meat Hook. Crafty fella, stuck hooks down the chimney to fish out those smoked legs of lamb so he could feast on them…

Kertasníkir - Candle Beggar. ‘Cause back then all the light they had was from candles, and these were made from animal fat. This dude actually ate them - but had serious psychic battles with himself because he couldn’t both have light and eat the candle.

Have a wonderful holiday! **

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Running the marathon

by alda on December 22, 2004

Marathon day! All the zillion little Christmas details to get sorted out. Poor EPI’s been sick for two days yet got up early like a trouper to help clean the apartment. Next some last-minute shopping was required (his), then the fetching of a Christmas tree that looked perfectly demure when outside but which inside our living room looks like it will Eat the Neighbourhood, then hair appointment, then shopping for Christmas dinner, then more shopping for Christmas dinner, then still more shopping for Christmas dinner, and now a brief respite before AAH and I tackle the tree.

Because poor EPI is even sicker now. And deeply concerned that he won’t be in good enough shape tomorrow to cook me a Big Brunch, because…

IT’S MY BIRTHDAY!

Tomorrow. Yup, through a cruel twist of fate I must forever share top billing with the Baby Jesus – yes, dear readers, condolences are in order. Because it’s a Hard Thing having your birthday permanently overshadowed – it leaves Deep Psychic Wounds. Getting only one present because everybody’s broke. Everyone being so busy that they forgeddabout you. And all that. And… I can’t go on. I’m too deeply submerged in the gratifying cauldron of self-pity.

Sniff. Snivel.

I’m joking, of course. Nowadays it doesn’t matter because I’m an Adult and I’ve come to appreciate this day because it’s almost like the Overture to Christmas. It’s actually called St. Thorlák’s Mass over here and what Icelanders do is they cook up this vile-smelling rancid skate and invite their friends over and drink lots of Black Death* and imbibe the thing. And stink up their houses just in time for Christmas and then go downtown Reykjavík smelling absolutely foul to join this humongous street party that goes on all evening, where everybody’s happy and smiling and shouting Merry Christmas! and getting into the general holiday groove.

Incidentally, YT has never partaken of the Skate tradition – but tomorrow I will! Come evening I’ve been invited to a skate party and I’m-a-goin’!!

BUT ENOUGH OF THAT, THE YULE LAD IS…

Gáttaþefur – Door Sniffer. Not that he went around sniffing everybody’s door, as the name suggests. No, he went around sniffing out the smell of baking laufabrauð (traditional paper-thin ‘leaf bread’ that people cut designs in and deep-fry, really yummy) which was his favourite food. At which point he probably broke into the house and stole some. Hm. One could write academic dissertations on these Old Icelandic Folk Beliefs around stealing. If one were so inclined.

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST….

The weatherman promises a white Christmas. Yay! Freezing cold today, strong winds from the north, a few flurries. Set to remain that way until after X-mas. Temps currently –8 degrees, plus windchill! Yo! That’s peretty damn cold!

But the best part, the part I’ve been waiting for, the part that makes me Really Happy is that sunrise was at … WHAT?? I DON’T BELIEVE IT! Just checked the paper and HELL AND DAMNATION, sunrise was at 11.23 and sunset at 15.30!!! I thought the day was supposed to be getting longer today! I’ve been typing in that stupid 15.29 for days now!! And here the day is LONGER by a full minute! OK. That’s it. I’ve completely and utterly lost my faith in Morgunblaðið. They’re just making those times up! They don’t even care. They’re just writing anything.

I choose to believe the day IS getting longer. Even if Morgunblaðið claims it isn’t. (Pout)

*Icelandic liquor, aptly named.

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No more SAD

by alda on December 21, 2004

Winter solstice today! Also making this is the shortest day of the year. We had our four hours of daylight which is bad enough at the best of times, but when it’s overcast and grey like it was today – pfftt! Can’t even call it a proper day.

WHO’S SORRY FOR US?

Probably not them 25,000 or so folks up in Akureyri (north Iceland), who only got three hours. Or the 115 people who make up the population of Grímsey (north north Iceland and incidentally one of the most magical places on the planet), who had to make do with two hours and fifteen minutes. But maybe the Australians who, I imagine, are all lounging about on a beach at this precise moment, feeling intensely sorry for all of us poor sods up here.

WE HAVE YULE LAD…

The Peeping Tom of the Yule Lad family: Gluggagægir, or Window Peeper. Contrary to his perv namesake, this dude was interested only in gawking at things he could steal. Maybe he was a drug addict. Or maybe I should get my mind out of this SAD* winter darkness and start thinking happy, healthy thoughts for a change.

AND FINALLY, THE WEATHER

It rained little Icelandic seals today (well, it doesn’t rain cats and dogs up here!). YT went for an incredibly refreshing brisk walk around the golf course and breathed some of the freshest, cleanest, most wonderful air this side of Antarctica. And got absolutely soaked in the process but it didn’t matter because I was watching the waves rolling in. They were amazing – big and robust and aqua-coloured, making that inimitable wave sound that is so incredibly huge and fantastically gentle both at the same time. So it rained and rained and then it stopped raining and got windy and very cold so all the rain froze on the ground and now we have an Iceland-sized skating rink and lots of slip-sliders. Temps currently right at the freezing mark. The sun came up at 11.23; the sun went down at 15.29 and tomorrow hopefully I won’t have to write that same annoying number again because it’s the winter solstice today, yay!

*Seasonal Affective Disorder. The greatest acronym ever invented.

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They eat horses, don’t they…?

by alda on December 21, 2004

Hasty posty this evening – because it’s not even evening it’s proper night and this is the first free bit of time I’ve found all day to indulge my blogging habit and me eyelids are getting just a weeee bit droopy.

Just want to send a big TAKK! to Sigh Club for making the Weather Report their current featured site. You people rock!

THE YULE LAD OF THE DAY IS…

(I’m getting a bit behind on the Yule Lads, I know, and all I can say is Damn Good Thing I’m not having to sneak in and deposit prezzies on their behalf. ‘Cause I’d have a lot of tap dancing to do when it came to explaining. So we’ll just pretend it’s not past midnight, ok? Ok.)

So anyway, the Yule Lad of the day is Bjúgnakrækir – Sausage Stealer. Name says it all. This dude crept up into the rafters, snatched the smoked horsemeat sausages and ate them. (‘Holy Crow, Mabel, did she just write horse meat?’ ‘Yes, she did, Arthur – does that mean those crude and boorish Icelanders actually eat horses?’ ‘Why I guess it must, Mabel! For the life of me, I can’t interpret it any other way.’)

Somebody pass me my medication, please. Thanks.

AND THE WEATHER…

Is not currently available, it being past midnight. I can tell you though that the sun probably set at 15.29.

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The heat is on

by alda on December 19, 2004

The Christmas heat is officially on. Stressed-out Icelanders flocking to the mall – packing the stores that now stay open to 10 pm every night, and until 11 pm on the 23rd. YT made the insane mistake of heading to the Kringlan Mall yesterday afternoon (a Saturday!) only to get sucked into a car parking lot and winding up revolving around and around without parking-space success for a full half an hour. Now if there’s anything to challenge one’s hard-earned serenity, it is precisely that. Yet I’m pleased to report that YT remained impeccably cool and composed during the entire mall foray, even resisting the urge to fire acerbic remarks in the direction of snarky store clerks that have probably been pulling 13-hour days for longer than should be permitted. For being an Icelandic mall store clerk right now must be pretty much on par with being a relief worker in Iraq. When it comes to the most-trying-job-on-the-planet sweepstakes.

I’m also exquisitely relieved to report that the final Christmas gift is now in the bag and my biggest concern now is which bow to tie on which prezzie. Sweet!

AND THE BREAK-AND-ENTER YULE LAD IS…

Skyrgámur – Skyr Glutton. Yet another impish Lad with a penchant for breaking into houses and ingesting things. This one sniffed out the skyr barrels and gorged himself on their contents – skyr being a dairy product halfway between a cheese and a yoghurt, similar to German quark. Hm. Better than eating the burnt remains off the pots, I guess. These guys are getting more cultured by the day.

TODAY’S WEATHER WAS…

Yes, the day is over and midnight approaches. However, I can tell you that it was a nondescript sort of day; overcast, slight wind, not mild and not cold, just sort of there. (Which in itself is a Good Thing). Sunrise was at 11.21; sunset at 15.29 (yet again).

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