May 2005

When I go out for my run along the seashore, I very soon encounter this:

As you can see, this is a perfectly demure little seaside-park-type thingy. It was put there last year, and quite a lot of work and precision went into it. I know, because I witnessed the proceedings every other day when I went for my run. First they cut out that large circle, then laid the cobblestones one by one. Then brought in those three benches [yes there are three of them, it’s just that one’s hiding behind the middle one], put up the garbage bins, and the posts for chaining bicycles, and that map of Reykjavík with the all-important YOU ARE HERE dot. And then they planted trees around, that with time will undoubtedly provide some welcome shelter from the summer heat [NOT!].

Right. Nothing wrong with it so far.

Except they just… didn’t pay attention to… one little detail.

This:

This. Is what you see. When you sit. On one of those benches.

And it is? A sewage purification plant.

And behind the sewage purification plant?

This:

Incidentally, that is the only little park-type-thingy on that whole stretch of coastline. And it is behind the sewage purification plant. And it probably cost a few hundred thousand crowns to construct.

Does the mind boggle? Indeed it does.

Have I ever seen anyone sit on one of those benches? No, I have not.

TODAY’S WEATHER
Lots of gorgeous sunshine and somewhat warmer than it has been. A bit of a chilly breeze [fromthenorth] though. EPI and I went and lounged in the sun poolside this afternoon and what a treat it was. Current temps are 7°C and the sun came up at 03.39, went down at 23.13.

Boy, it’s been a Very Long Time since I’ve been so completely devoid of inspiration when it comes to posting. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever felt quite so deflated in the blogging department. Writers’ blog? Blogstipation?

What to write. I could use the old trick of google searches, I suppose. Quick perusal… hm hm hm… in order of appearance: ‘Cocaine in Iceland’, ‘Selma Björnsdóttir official site’, ‘Clint Eastwood Iceland’, hm hm hmm, ‘Icelandic women’, ‘Iceland weather report’, ‘Iceland weather’….

[Bo-ring!]

Or I could tell you what I did today. Got up at 8.15, had some homemade müsli for brekkie, read the paper, learned Important Things like Icelandic men have the highest longevity in the world [79 years] and Icelandic women the sixth highest [83]. This is breaking news, albeit not entirely surprising as Icelandic longevity has hovered around the top pretty much since people started paying attention to these things. We keep exchanging places with Japan; must be all the fish we eat. Either that or the whaling – the other thing we have in common.

Anyway! On with my boring day: sat down at the computer, checked a few blogs, deposited the odd comment. Wrote out an invoice for an assignment I finished yesterday; then talked to my friend R. on the phone, who is going through some Heavy Stuff. AAH went off to school to do an exam [math]; AAH came home when exam was done [went well]. YT started to feel totally mouldy* and icky from lack of fresh air so got in the unit** and drove to the golf course, hoping I wouldn’t be attacked and killed by Arctic terns. Walked briskly around its circumference; returned home. Did some bookkeeping: sorted out the 24.5% VAT I have collected for Services Rendered [yes that’s 24.5% sales tax – the secret to running a modern society with a mere 300,000 people].

After a quick lunch of toast and tea headed to the tax office to deliver the VAT to its rightful owner: the Icelandic Government [and by extension Us the People]. Went on foot because the weather was nice and I hadn’t quite filled my fresh air quota. Next I went to the post office and dropped an envelope with the aforementioned invoice into a post box. I ducked into IÐA, a great independent book/all-kinds-of-neat-stuff store to see if I would chance upon the perfect gift for my half-brother who is graduating this weekend [as is EPI’s daughter, incidentally, who happens to be the same age as my brother] and throwing a party on Friday evening to celebrate [EPI’s daughter on Saturday].

However. Found nothing suitable. And so I walked back home, along the Tjörnin pond where the swans and ducks and other birdies are all acting very fertile and frisky right now. When I got back home I worked on an assignment for a while, until I started to feel so… incredibly… tired… that I just flopped into bed and fell into a deep deep sleep. I woke up with a start 15 minutes later: one of those panicky OMG WHERE AM I AND WHAT TIME IS IT???? moments that we’re all familiar with, I’m sure.

Yep. Then EPI called – he was working late. Came home a short while later all burnt out and did what anybody in their right mind would do: went for a run. Meantime YT – who did not feel like cooking, who would have done just about anything to avoid cooking – went to the supermarket and bought a grilled chicken. Came home, stuck a frozen baguette in the oven, threw together a quickie salad, consumed portions of all. And then kicked AAH off MSN so I could blog about nothing.

ON THE WEATHER FRONT
No strongwindfromthenorth! At long last! It was overcast today which meant it was warmer than it has been and oh thank God for the absence of that godawful wind. Right now it’s beautiful outside, with the sun shining brightly and the clouds that dot the sky a particularly lovely shade of blue and deep mauve. I give them another 15 minutes or so to turn pink and gold. That’s the great thing about being so far north, you get these long extended sunsets. Officially the sun will go down at 23.10, whereas it came up this morning at 03.41; however [and forgive me if you’ve heard this before] when you’re so far north and they say ’sunset’ it means that the sun only dips just below the horizon and hovers there. Meaning it doesn’t get dark. Just sort of dusky.

* Icelandic expression [Að mygla]
** car

Today EPI and I were walking to the store when we chanced upon this:

Now what, pray tell, were all those neatly-stacked empty plastic containers doing in that bus shelter, with not a soul within a 500-metre radius? Were they left there by a benign Tupperware fairy? Were they waiting for the bus?

‘There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.’ - Shakespeare.

‘WTF?!’ - YT

AND THEN THERE’S THE BORING OLD WEATHER
Need I say it? Brilliant sunshine, winds from the north. It’s getting pretty damn tiresome, I tell you, particularly as I have this whiplash injury and if there’s a cold wind it acts up most horribly and right now my neck is killing me from days and days of accumulated whiplash pain. [Poor, poor YT.] No matter how tightly I wrap my neck up in a scarf, when there’s a freezing cold wind from the north it manages to get through. And now I cannot wait for my massage in two days time, which hopefully will provide some relief. To say nothing of the sand and sun in southern Portugal that awaits in exactly one week, and which will cure all my whiplash pain in one fell swoop. [Yeah right, wishful thinking.] Meantime the brilliant sun came up at 03.41 and went down at 23.10.

It’s exam week and I’ve been helping AAH study. I’m learning so many interesting things! F’rinstance, did you know that Icelandic women only earned the right to vote in 1915, and the age limit was 40 years? And prior to the advent of labour unions, an Icelandic labourer had to work 10-11 hours a day, six days a week? And that before 1894, people of working age were legally obligated to get a job, or else? - No, neither did I. That’s what being indoctrinated in another part of the world will do.

Although… the other day she was studying for a World Religions exam and wow, all this stuff that I Did Not Know. Or that I knew in bits and pieces - snippets picked up here and there along life’s long and winding road [just a little sap, can’t resist], but had never really put into context. What the hell was I doing in World Religions class anyway, way back when? Goofing off, probably. We had this teacher, Mr M, who spent the entire time flirting with one of the girls and couldn’t be bothered to teach us anything. And then at the end of the year, they started going out. And then I heard they got married, despite their umpteen-year age difference. See? That’s what I remember. The story of Mr M and the Girl In My Class. But Islam, Buddhism, et al? Pfft!

TODAY’S WEATHER WAS
Not terribly interesting. Same as yesterday and the day before and the day before that. We keep hoping against hope that it’s going to be warm and nice, but it never is. EPI, the eternal optimist, gets up every morning and peers through the Venetian blinds, exclaiming ‘Oh, it’s a gorgeous day and it’s definitely not windy!’ - and then you go outside and it’s freezing just like yesterday, with that bloody icy wind from the north. Currently 7°C [sure, it sounds bearable but trust me, it’s cold] and the sun came up at 03.47 and set at 23.04.

I find it utterly alarming how many hits I’m getting via google searches for ‘Icelandic sluts’, ‘promiscuous Icelandic’, ‘Icelandic teenage sex’, etc. In fact, in the time it took me to write this post, one came through looking for ‘iceland, women, sex’. [Hey, punk! Go hump someone in your own neighbourhood!]

So many pervs out there who think Icelandic women or girls can provide some kind of illumination in their sad sad lives. Who knew?

Of course I attribute this to my Oprah and sex post. I just hope these dorks are equipped with enough grey matter to actually read and understand what is written there.

IN OTHER NEWS…
My friend G. got married today. Lovely. Second marriage for both and for once I truly believe in this one. They’ve learned the important lessons and are ready to enter into a union with eyes wide open. What more can you want?

EPI and I returned home to flop on the sofa and veg over Eurovision. Despite the collective Icelandic spirit being like a deflated balloon as a result of last Thursday’s elimination, the two of us actually managed to whip up some enthusiasm. EPI was rooting for France; I favoured Moldavia because they had an energetic rock song [not your standard sappy Eurovision fare] plus an old granny onstage beating a drum, complete with babushka-style clothing and gold teeth. Precious! Also, both of us were sort of on the side of Norway because they dared to do something different, what with their Kiss-style glam rock and whathaveyou. When it came to the voting, however, the entire Icelandic telecommunications infrastructure must have crashed because there was no way to get through, neither on our home phone nor the cell phones. [Told you we enter into it with gusto]. EPI managed to get through in the nick of time to cast France the one vote it probably got from this part of the world - they didn’t do too well, poor dears. In the end Greece took home the trophy and I suppose it was well deserved although honestly, my sense of judgement sort of takes a vacation once a year when Eurovision rolls across the screens.

It was pretty obvious, though, that this year Big Percussion and Folk-influenced songs were the order of the day. Which has the Icelandic pundist quipping that next year we should send Steindór Andersen, who does this particular Icelandic form of singing called rímur - an epic song or poem that is chanted or intoned in a very, shall we say, ‘unique’ way [sort of a drawling monotone]. Somehow I’m not sure it would be a hit with the general Eurovision audience. And as for other folk-oriented traditions in music… well, Iceland doesn’t really have any. I mean, this country didn’t even have proper instruments until a couple hundred years ago, and there certainly were not many places for dancing, what with the long, dark winters, the cramped living quarters, the struggle for survival. No - the Icelanders were concerned with things other than carving out a musical tradition. Which in turn means that we’ll probably never win Eurovision. Sniff.

TODAY’S WEATHER WAS…
Brilliant sunshine and bloody frigging cold. That damn northern wind has decided to move in on us for good, I fear. Current temps are 3°C and the sun came up at 03.53 and went down at 22.58.

We’re having some masonry work done to the outside of our building and here’s a pic I took of one of the workers:

… and another one when he leaned over, wheeeee….

Meanwhile, Polly the cockatiel sat on her laundry basket, trying to convince herself that The Apocalypse Was Not Nigh…

…and that a snooze might well be achieved, even with the monstrous cacophony of knocking, banging and whirring that was shaking the very foundations of the building.

And yes, that’s Mariah Carey spread out on that Newsweek magazine there, on which Polly has the pleasure of shitting this week. Not that she deserves it poor girl, after all she’s been through. Depression, attempted suicide, weight gain, Glitter, and that awful manipulative husband who made her a star. [Mariah, that is.] Tsk.

Meanwhile, you shall have no weather from me because I’ve already given it once today. Besides, there’s nothing to tell, it’s bloody cold and we have the bane of Icelandic living: a nasty wind from the north. Bleh!

Was it the clothes? The dancers? The absence of drums? The nepotism?

Such are the questions preoccupying the Icelandic nation, after our girl Selma was eliminated in the Eurovision Song Contest semi-finals last night. I think it’s safe to say that everyone was ‘surprised’. After all, Selma had been tipped as a favourite by Eurovision-enthusiasts and bookmakers [outside of Iceland, I might add] for winning the semi-finals. Besides, in the humble opinion of YT, she sang and performed like a seasoned pro.

Of course we were treated to the spectacle of camp that we were all expecting, but what I was not expecting was rampant and blatant imitation of last year’s winning number, from the Ukraine. It was called ‘Wild Dancing’ or something and it had the main singer ‘Ruslana’ [which has prompted much hilarity in these parts, since ‘rusl’ in Icelandic means ‘garbage’] dancing about in tribal garb and featured the copious beating of large drums. So last night I reckon about half of the acts had big drums on the stage, with the main singer typically running off to the side somewhere to beat a large drum in the middle of the song. [Guffaw!]

So the general consensus around here is that if our Selma had only tossed her mike aside for a minute and taken one energetic drum solo, she would have made it. And also if the dancers had refrained from lying down on the floor in the middle of the song to writhe around like dying starfish.

OK BUT WHAT ABOUT THE NEPOTISM?
What, indeed. This morning’s Fréttablaðið has an interview with a young woman who’s written her BA thesis on Voting Behaviour by Individual Nations in the Eurovision Song Contest. Now why anyone would choose that as a thesis topic is completely beyond me – particularly as it reveals nothing that we did not already know. The Nordic countries vote for each other, Greece and Cyprus inevitably give each other maximum points, eastern European and Baltic states also favour one another, etc. The only thing remotely new in this woman’s findings is that a) Germany and Austria are an anomaly in that they don’t favour each other when it comes to handing out points and b) the only thing that most people consider certain is that Finland and Portugal will never win the Eurovision Song Contest.

ENOUGH ALREADY!
Eurovision has already commanded far too much space here [but only because Selma was eliminated, sour grapes and all that] so I give you weather: much the same as it has been in the past few days, bright sunshine but prolly fairly cold since we have winds from the north. Looks beeootiful from the window, though. The mbl website lists current temps at 5°C. And now I’m debating whether or not I should give you sunrise/sunset times, since daybreak/nightfall no longer apply. There’s a difference, you know. Daybreak actually occurs before official sunrise because it starts getting light before the sun rises above the horizon; the same goes for nightfall/sunset, only in reverse. So in the absence of daybreak/nightfall, we have: sunrise 03.57, sunset 22.54.

The Eurovision preliminaries are tonight, held to decide who gets to move through to the main contest, which is on Saturday. Icelanders lo-ove Eurovision. [Even if they pooh-pooh it and proclaim to be way above it all.] I reckon that nowhere-but-nowhere are our small-nation insecurities so glaringly apparent. After all, this is our once-a-year chance to prove that we’re THE BEST. Even if it is in a hopelessly camp and vacuous song contest, where nepotism is the order of the day when it comes to handing out points.

Never mind. The Icelandic nation throws itself into the fray with gusto. This year we’re sending our One Great Hope, Selma Björnsdóttir, who almost won a few years ago – she came in second, just a few points behind the winners [was it Sweden? – how soon one forgets.] This year there was no contest allowing the nation to choose the contestant – this has sometimes been done, almost inevitably with disastrous results. Nope – Selma was ‘hand picked’ – and sent off with instructions to bring home the trophy.

Now the funny thing is, we don’t actually want to win. Well we do… but we don’t. It’s the cost, you see. The already-struggling Icelandic National Broadcasting Service [which oversees the contest on Iceland’s behalf] would go bust if we had to hold it here [remember that we’re a nation of just under 300,000 people who have to support the requisite infrastructure, public administration, cultural sector, diplomatic service, educational system, health care system – in short, uphold a democratic nation with a high standard of living]. So second place is generally thought to be the best place in which to land. [Which by extension means that back in 1999, or whenever it was, we actually did win.]

In any case, every year the excitement generated by the Eurovision song contest is palpable. There are Eurovision-parties everywhere: friends and families gather together in eager anticipation and during the actual broadcast the streets are absolutely deserted. And when ‘our’ contestant(s) come on, you can hear a pin drop. And when ‘our’ contestants are given ‘douze points’ from someone, a collective roar of glee reverberates throughout the whole country.

Meanwhile, the retail sector has seized the opportunity and goes hog-wild with Eurovision specials: ‘The Eurovision leg of lamb!’ ‘Fabulous Eurovision fish specials!’ ‘Eurovision price explosion on gas barbecues!’ And the now-indispensable yearly tradition that kicked off the last time Selma performed: A certain retailer in town promises everyone who purchases a new TV a full refund if Iceland wins. [This offer has since caught on elsewhere and now different retailers offer refunds for various things if Iceland manages to take home the trophy].

We’ve had play-by-play reports of what Selma is doing out in Kiev and today came a shocker: The Clothes Were Revealed. Tabloid DV has a front-page photo of the Icelandic team decked out in their designer costumes, with the headline: ‘Will Selma make it through [to the finals] in this?’ To be sure, the costume is rather, ahem, unconventional… and in no time has caused an uproar. Fréttablaðið reports that ‘Eurovision journalists have doubts as to whether the costume will help her tonight’ and ‘some go so far as to say that it may prevent her from getting through to the finals’ [oh horrors!].

Anyway. YT will be in front of the screen at 7 pm this evening, cheering for our girl Selma – ugly clothes or no ugly clothes [actually I think the clothes are kind of fun]. I’m pretty sure she’ll make it tonight. Which can only mean one thing: big Eurovision party on Saturday!

THE WEATHER
Bright and beautiful, brilliant sunshine, and would be fantabulous if it weren’t for a nasty northerly wind. Current temps are 9°C but with windchill that figure is brought down substantially. And – today we had daybreak at 01.46 but, like I said yesterday, no nightfall. Because it just don’t get dark no more, yo.

Before dropping yesterday’s Big Question, I leave you with one of my favourite quotes [already cited in yesterday’s comments], and a picture of one of my favourite statues for your contemplation:

[Ahem]

“Art that doesn’t deal with man’s relationship to God is worthless.” – Ingmar Bergman.

[Discuss if you feel like]

FAMOUS PEOPLE ALERT!
Summertime is upon us [well almost] which means Iceland starts being invaded by the Rich and Famous. Honestly, why can’t these people just leave us alone? Why, just in the last couple of years our wee country [pop. 290,000] has been accosted by Harrison Ford [3 times], Viggo Mortensen [at least twice], Eric Clapton [at least twice], Paul McCartney and Heather Mills [at least twice], Pink, 50 Cent, Diana Krall and Elvis Costello, Lou Reed and Laurie Anderson, Mick Jagger, Emma Thompson and Greg whatsisname, Elton John, Robert Plant [as has been well documented], Mick Hucknall, Julia Stiles, Forrest Whittaker, Sophia and Frances Ford Coppola… ah… the list goes on, can’t remember any more at the moment.

And now, according to latest reports, Clint Eastwood and Steven Spielberg are due in June and plan to remain for the rest of the summer. This has not yet been officially confirmed, but the media claims the reason for their extended stay is production of a new film called Flags of Our Fathers. Clint has already asked for ‘modest accommodation’ [not that he’d have much of a choice, really] near the location of the filming, which reportedly will be near Krýsuvík [hot spring area 30 min drive from the capital]. Now ‘I’m not selling this dearer than I bought it’ as the Icelanders say – but if it’s true, you heard it here first.

THE WEATHER
Bloody cold for May! The mbl website has temps at 4°C at the moment. But the sun is shining and our balcony is sheltered so there may just be a spot of sunbathing possible this afternoon, as there was yesterday. Getting meself used to the rays. So I won’t have to bother with all the adjusting-slowly-to-the-sun business when I get to Portugal in a couple weeks time. [Yowsa!] Oh and people! This is the last day for a while of official daybreak/nightfall figures because as of tomorrow it will be light around the clock. [Double yowsa!] So: daybreak 02.02; nightfall 01.02.