March 2008

Ladies and gents, it’s that time of year again: YT’s blog mojo has gone AWOL. It generally happens in the early spring [why?], and it seems equally dire every time. I can’t think of a single interesting thing to write about, I think this blog sucks lemons and get all oh what’s the point because people aren’t leaving me comments and stuff. I hate the layout and it bothers me no end that there isn’t, like, a focus to these ramblings. My content is not specific enough, and that’s probably why I don’t have a zillion subscribers, because I’m not giving my readers what they want. And even if I were giving my readers what they want, what would be the point anyway? What the hell am I doing this for? Is blogging dead??

Etcetera.

So at this point I’m kind of tempted to ask for feedback, but I’ve done that before and know that most respondents will be polite and say things like “I like it just the way it is” and “just keep doing what you’re doing”, and that’s because they’re lovely people and probably don’t want to hurt my feelings. So instead, I’m going to invite you to ask me a question. Something you’ve had in the back of your mind while reading this blog, something you’ve perhaps been hoping to find the answer to, but haven’t … or just whatever pops into your mind. I promise to respond, will post my answers in a separate post, although I do reserve the right not to answer questions that I find too invasive, or to say “I don’t know” if I really don’t know.*

That way I can perhaps better understand what you’re thinking when you read this. It may even help me get my mojo back.

THIS HAS BEEN A WEEKEND OF WINDOW WEATHER
Which is what the Nicelanders call it when it looks amazing from the window, but you freeze your bitz off when you go outside. There has been not a cloud in the sky, but we’ve had a killer wind and temps around the freezing mark that feel like, oh, -20°C. Yesterday EPI and I went out for a walk [of course we picked the most badass-wind location in all of the capital area, like we always do] and it was so cold that by the time we got halfway around the golf course EPI offered to run and get the car so I wouldn’t have to walk all the way [because he’s the sweetest]. Anyway, I got up this morning and looked in the mirror and I looked like freaking Rudolph with the red shiny nose because when I’m in bright sunshine my nose turns all red while the rest of my face doesn’t. [Note to self: pick up some of that stuff that lifeguards use.] Temps right now 2°C [36F] and sunrise was at 6:52 am, sunset at 8:14 pm.

* Please, no anonymous questions, and just one question per comment.

So, remember Eric? The guy who asked to meet with YT because someone told him I had an opinion about everything? The one who was here scratching his head about why the Nicelanders were so damn happy all the time when they had every reason to be SAD? Well, evidently the book he was writing burned up the New York Times best seller list on publication, making it to number eight [or higher] and evidently YT was IN IT!! And before you get too excited, Eric apparently referred to YT as ‘Alda, a popular Icelandic blogger’ with not a singular plug for the Weather Report. Can you imagine? Which is why YT is not going to plug his book either, not even a little bit. And is not going to buy it. And anyway, I know exactly why the Nicelanders are so damn happy all the time: it’s because they take cod liver oil.*

IN OTHER NEWS
We reached the dubious milestone last weekend of having every single cell at the Reykjavík police station occupied. This in itself is not such an anomaly, except that this time every single occupant of every single cell was a foreigner. Crimes involving foreign citizens have - unfortunately - been very prominent here in the last few months, and many of them are ugly crimes. Gang rapes. Grievous bodily assault that put people in intensive care. Ganging up on undercover police officers. Now, I’m not saying the Nicelanders are angels, but somehow this does not bode well. Until now we’ve been spared many of the ethnic and racial tensions that our neighbouring countries have had to endure; however, I fear that is about to change. Oy vey!

THE WEATHER REPORT
The sun shone brightly today and injected a little bit of spring into our hearts and minds. Sigh. I long for spring - I can hardly remember when winter dragged on and on in such a way … probably not since my Canadian incarnation. It has been a remarkably harsh winter. Or maybe we’re just spoiled by all the greenhouse winters we’ve had in recent years. Anyway, temps are still pretty low, 1°C at the moment [34F] and sunrise was at 6:59 am, sunset due for 8:08 pm, which is in about 15 minutes’ time.

* See? I just spared you the trouble of buying the book.

1. I have a new obsession: the saltwater hot pot at the Laugardalslaug swimming pool. It’s the poor man’s Blue Lagoon - cures what ails ya without the resultant bankruptcy. Seriously, there’s just something about that water and salt combo that MELTS away tension and anxiety and leaves your skin feeling silky smooth ALL OVER. [Say, why did I never get into doing voice overs for North American televison commercials??] It smells kinda funky, though, sort of like the person next to you has been drinking double scotches since breakfast, double scotches mixed with chlorine, in fact, and the first time I was in there had me eyeing an old guy with intense suspicion and considerable derision for the duration of my soak. Now other people eye me with derision, but nevermind. I forgive them for they know not what they do.

2. So there I was today, soaking in the Jacuzzi at the Laugardalslaug swimming pool [before I got to the saltypot], and these four Americans get in and I’m all like, I bet they didn’t get naked in the shower. So later when I’m in the changerooms one of the American ladies comes in and she’s in the shower and sort of glancing around and sees that everyone is naked but her, and I’m shampooing my hair and thinking to myself, I bet she won’t do it, I bet she won’t get naked. And then she turns around in the shower and … she does it! She gets naked!! And I literally have to stop myself from going over there and tapping her on the shoulder and then giving her a big fat naked hug. You know? Because she’s a trouper.

3. AAH has just got her learner’s permit and I’m teaching her how to drive. And so we get back today from our drive and I look in the mirror and I see that, like, half of the hairs on my head have turned grey. And five of my fingernails are missing. Later I find them embedded in the dashboard of my car.

4. Yeah, so before I went out teaching AAH how to drive I was in the saltypot at the Laugardalslaug swimming pool. And before I was there, I was having a massage. And before I was there, I was at a funeral. It’s been a bizarre day.

5. Iceland is not going bankrupt! Iceland is not a big toxic hedge fund! You’re all just a bunch of bullies! Only Richard Portes is our friend.

I BET YOU HADN’T NOTICED THAT MY BRAIN’S ALL FRIED
Like it always is when I’ve been to a funeral then had a massage and then a long soak in a hot pot, particularly one with salt in it, and when the Icelandic economy is crashing down all around me and AAH is driving through the rubble. At this moment my bed wafts in my mind’s eye like an oasis in the desert. It’s still cold here, today there was wind, and later on when I was out having my hair turned grey I saw a snowstorm hovering over Mt. Esja, very dramatic looking, and apparently it’s due to pass over our fair city tonight. Right now it’s 2°C [36F], and the day is getting longer and longer all the time. It’s light way before 7 am these days, with sunrise proper at precisely 7.02 this morning, sunset at 8.05.

The few days we spent in Berlin barely allowed us to scratch the surface of the city. Everybody raves about the culture there, but I didn’t really get a feeling for it. I think a few things contributed: EPI being sick meant that we couldn’t spend a lot of time wandering around because it was freaking cold, and there wasn’t really any sort of street life. I’m sure going there in the summer would yield a completely different experience.

My impression of Berlin this time around was that it is a hard nut to crack. It lacks the ebullience of New York [people seemed fairly reserved], the seductive beauty of Paris [much of Berlin architecture is unspectacular - so much was destroyed during WWII and a lot of soulless buildings were built in their stead] or the charm of London [the Berliners don’t exactly excel in the social graces]. However, Berlin has a remarkable undercurrent, and I got the sense that with a bit more time to delve beneath the surface [and to hang around in pubs and cafés], I would experience something entirely different.

At the end of the day, what makes Berlin fascinating is its history and the sense of how it manifests in its vibe. For those who don’t know, West Berlin was an island in the middle of East Germany, geographically isolated from the West while still enjoying all the freedoms of the West - and then some. West Berlin had some laws that applied only there; for example its residents were exempt from military duty, meaning it attracted draft dodgers from all over West Germany. The Berliners were renowned for their liberal attitudes so the city became a magnet for subcultures: artists, intellectuals, drug users, homosexuals … all gravitated towards West Berlin. That alternative, bohemian energy is still very much evident; in fact returning to Iceland with its rampant consumerism and materialism, its snobbishness and small-town attitudes, really had me yearning for the Berliners’ lack of concern about appearances. It was really very refreshing to spend a few days there.

The city’s most exciting [and trendiest] area today is without question Prenzlauer Berg, a neighbourhood in the Eastern part of the city with its own unique history. In the former GDR [East Germany] it was a slum, a melting pot of artists, bohemians and ex-convicts, who when they were released from prison were allocated flats in Prenzlauer Berg. The place fell into disrepair, most people yearned for flats in the newish suburbs of the city that had separate bedrooms and a toilet, as opposed to the old Prenzlauer Berg flats where the toilets were out in the hall, so Prenzlauer Berg became a haven of the displaced. Perhaps unsurprisingly, the area was the seat of the resistance against the East German regime and was essentially where the protests began that eventually led to the crumbling of the Wall. Today most of the buildings have been restored to their former splendor [although there is still the odd one that is a throwback to the GDR] and it’s filled with cafés, trendy little boutiques and amazing restaurants. AND it has cobblestone streets.

So yes - history is everywhere, monuments are everywhere … and I found none more disturbing than the frequent reminders of Jewish persecution during the Third Reich. Walking around one day, we came across small plaques embedded in the sidewalks … they were hardly noticeable, but on closer inspection we saw that they gave the names and dates of birth of the Jews that lived in that location, the date of their deportation, and the name of concentration camp in which they were murdered. In one instance that we came across, the building these plaques referred to - just behind them - was still covered in bullet holes. A grave and powerful reminder of the horrors of the holocaust.

However, by far the most chilling testament to the persecution of the Jews in Germany was in the Jewish cemetery that EPI and I unwittingly came across in Prenzlauer Berg, just as we were emerging from the U-Bahn [subway]. The cemetery was laid to waste by the Nazis during WWII and it has been left pretty much untouched since then. Many of the gravestones have been defaced, and many are shattered and scattered on the ground, overgrown with vines. Standing there in the midst of all that destruction was an overwhelming experience. To be able to ravage the holiest of ground like that is indicative of such a deep lunacy that it simply boggles the mind. It was unreal.

Anyway. I was deeply shocked. And at the risk of seeming disrespectful, I’m going to segue from that very grave subject matter into something infinitely more trivial: our much-discussed toilet situation at the hotel. There turned out to be no cause for concern, everything was very decent, and in fact our hotel was fabulous in every way. We had a corner room on the 23rd floor with a panoramic view [windows on two sides] and while the bathtub was somewhat curiously situated sort of mid-room and had a clear glass pane looking out into the room itself [for the exhibitionists in the crowd] there was a curtain that could be drawn [after the applause had ended]. The toilet was in a separate cubicle [phew] closed off by a frosted glass door, and while the whole thing was kind of OPEN [i.e. the bathroom was not a separate room] it was quite tolerable. Although I probably wouldn’t have wanted to share with someone that I didn’t feel comfortable sharing a bed with. Just … as a benchmark.

OK, SO DO WE GET BERLIN WEATHER, OR NICELAND?
I promise to return to Niceland very soon, next post in fact shall be brought to you from dear old Reykjavík. In the meantime the weather: it continues cold, temps 0 to -8°C with winds 5-13 metres a second, stronger at the south coast. Today it was windy with flurries; currently it is 0°C [32F] and sunrise was at 7.09, sunset at 7.59 pm.

The first time I went to Berlin was in 1990. It was March, and the infamous Wall had come down the previous November. The German government, led by Helmut Kohl, had just decided that Germany would be reunified and the process to remove sections of the Wall had begun. Most of the facade had been chipped away by that time, however; in fact anyone who had a hammer and chisel was out chipping off pieces …

Some people were selling them …

And others still were spray painting sections to sell, since the most coveted pieces were those with graffiti on them.

The two sides were still two different countries, with two separate economies. However, you could now easily pass through, a visa was no longer required and you just needed to present your ID at one of the checkpoints. Once over in the East you weren’t supposed to change your West German marks on the black market, but everyone did because you received double what the banks would give you. I went through Checkpoint Charlie and just beyond it there were people waiting to buy West German marks. I changed 10 marks [probably around USD 7 at the time] and received 40 East German marks. You weren’t supposed to take them out of East Germany, so I walked around for an entire day trying my very best to spend them. I had a three-course lunch in an expensive East German restaurant, too expensive for the general populace; that cost me 18 marks. I wandered into a department store, but there was absolutely nothing I wanted to buy. Eventually I went to a café for coffee and cake [halfheartedly: I was still full]; that cost me a grand total of 7 marks. I still had 15 marks left over that I just could not spend. By the end of the day I still had a couple of bills and a few aluminium coins still in my pocket.

Everything was hopelessly run down. The buildings, the streets. I spent most of my time in East Berlin exploring the area around Alexanderplatz, which by happy coincidence is where our hotel was located this time around. Needless to say, the square has changed vastly in the 18 years since I’d been there last, although it was fairly well maintained even back then. It was the residential areas that resembled some of the worst slums I’d seen in the West…

That’s precisely what I thought this place was, for example, until I looked up and saw the flowerpots in the windows and realized that this was just a normal apartment building.

… This was just a normal doorway

… And this lovely but decrepit old building had graffiti scrawled across it: Was der Krieg verschonte, ueberlebt in Sozialismus nicht - “What the war spared, will not survive socialism.”

Back then, everyone was still high on reunification and the future seemed full of promise. It lasted about a year and a half before both sides began to feel disgruntled. After all, these had been two nations for a long time and, despite their kinship, had two very very different mentalities. Today, I’m told, the wall still exists in people’s minds. Many West Berliners will not live in the East, and vice-versa. Many don’t even like to cross the line of bricks in the road that delineates where the wall once stood.

I haven’t quite finished with Berlin; expect more in the next post.

WEATHER HERE IN REYKJAVÍK
It was cold in Berlin, just a couple of degrees warmer than here, but a very different type of cold, somehow more intense. Of course we did not have the dreadful Icelandic wind, which was full out today. It’s been a gray couple of days since we’ve been back, the sun has not appeared once and today we had flurries on and off all day. Right now it is … [ooops, guess I was a wee bit distracted when I posted last night … let’s say … um 1°C. Sunrise/sunset … um … I dunno. This post is about Berlin, anyway.]

[I promise I shall have the Berlin toilet report for you very soon - in the meantime I’ve uploaded a few pics to Flickr. More anon!]

PS thanks for all your comments and good wishes.

long time no write STOP no wireless in hotel despite online promise STOP sitting in turkish cafe in prenylauer berg STOP berlin fascinating as ever STOP epi got sick STOP spent full precious day in bed STOP weather cold and kinda nastz STOP z and y are changed around on this kezboard STOP zt went to turkish hammam [steam bath] & got scrubbed down bz Lebanese ladz STOP lady STOP met friends for dinner last night STOP vietnamese food and later spanish tapas bar STOP friend simon sazs iceland is on the verge of bankruptcz STOP so sey german tv STOP so maz not return STOP berlin weather report - has ring? STOP full whiteout bliyyard zesterdaz STOP wish u were here STOP STOP

Here in Niceland we get the phenomenon known as the árshátíð, which literally translated means ‘annual celebration’ and figuratively translated means ‘a big party in which there is entertainment and everyone gets juiced and to which you must wear really nice clothes and get your hair done beforehand.’ [NB ‘juiced’ is not an absolute requirement, particularly if the árshátíð is being thrown by, say, SÁÁ]. Every company and every organisation and every saumaklúbbur* and every equestrian society and every organized group of any kind will inevitably throw an árshátíð for its employees/members once a year, that is if they want to be taken seriously as a company/society/sewing club/whatever.

Anyway, over the years the árshátíðir have been getting progressively more extravagant, and now many companies, organizations etc. throw their parties in other countries. Most often this will entail their employees flying over for free, while spouses have to pay for their flight but generally get a discount. Hotel accommodation is included for 2-3 nights, and there is a lavish dinner on at least one of those nights.

Two years ago, EPI’s company invited everyone to Copenhagen for their árshátíð, last year it was Hótel Búðir, and this year it’s Berlin. EPI and I have also travelled to Paris on one occasion, courtesy of another employer. Needless to say I consider this one of Iceland’s more pleasing traditions.

EPI and I have decided to extend and are staying a full week. We’re meeting up with friends that I haven’t seen for about 15 years, not since we both lived in Essen … from there they moved to Berlin, I moved to Iceland. They’ve got an entire day planned for us on Sunday, replete with custom sightseeing and then dinner at their place. Can’t wait!

And so dear readers, the next installment of The Iceland Weather Report shall be brought to you from Berlin. Bis dann!

I’M NOT SORRY TO BE LEAVING HERE
Because the weather has turned cold and nasty again, read: windy. I went out this morning completely unsuspecting, imagining a perfectly amicable morning to greet me, but NO. I froze my buns off, walking downtown. As the day has progressed the wind has only become colder and stronger, so I’ll be glad to wave bye-bye. Sunrise this morning at 7.52, sunset at 7.23; temps currently 2°C [36F].

PS. I’ll be sure to give you a full toilet report.

* A saumaklúbbur is also a Nicelandic phenomenon, which literally translated means ‘sewing club’ and figuratively translated means ‘a bunch of women who get together on a regular basis and try to outdo each other in the lavishness of the refreshments they serve.’ It generally has very little to do with sewing.

YT: Remember that blogger in Paris, the one who got fired?
EPI: … Yeah
YT: She got paid 62 million krónur to write two books.
EPI: […!]
YT: The first one just came out
EPI: What’s it about?
YT: I dunno. Her life in Paris, probably
EPI: Ah
YT: She was living with this guy who was always working and they had this baby, then she met some other guy on her blog and had an affair and then she split up with the first guy
EPI: I knew it! This blogging thing is no good
YT: It’s not the blogging thing - the guy was never home
EPI: OK, that’s it, I’m quitting my job
YT: NO, I’m getting a job. So I can get fired.

IT’S OVERCAST AND GREY, BUT MERCIFULLY MILD
And from where I’m sitting it looks perfectly calm, also, although appearances can be deceptive, particularly when you live in the west end of Reykjavík, near the sea, and the subject is ‘wind’. It can look perfectly calm from the window [funny word, that, wind-oh, hm] but BAM! as soon as you’re down at the shore you’re suddenly contending with something else entirely. Temps a perfectly acceptable 1°C [34F] and the sun came up at 7.55, goes down at 7.20.