Stealing boxers

Last week when I was getting ready to head to the cottage I noticed that my bikini was missing and realized I’d probably left it behind at the Laugardalslaug pool the weekend before. Decided therefore that I’d drop by there on my way out of town and see if they had it in the Lost & Found.

So I go in there, into the ladies showers where the staff has a little room in which they hang out, and find two teenage girls playing cards.

YT: Hi. I was here last weekend… [blah]

GIRL 1: What day was it?

YT: Saturday

Girl pulls down a basket marked ‘Saturday’ and starts going through it.

G1: No, it’s not here.

YT: [anxious] Do you think it could be in any of the other baskets?

G1: Probably not.

YT: Could you check … maybe Friday’s?

G1 pulls down Friday’s starts going through it, and sure enough unearths YT’s bikini top.

YT: That’s the top!

G1 goes through everything but no bottoms.

YT: How can the top be there and not the bottoms? I mean, if you found the top …

G1: Oh, you wouldn’t believe what people steal around here.

YT: […?]

G1: Oh, yeah. People steal all kinds of things.

You know what? I didn’t believe it.

YT: Is there nowhere else where they might be?

GIRL 2: Everything goes downstairs if it’s not here.

So I persuade GIRL 2 to take me ‘downstairs’ - which was actually the most creepy-assed basement you’ve ever seen - to have a look. And, boy. It was a bloody fricking warehouse down there. There must have been HUNDREDS of towels, THOUSANDS of bathing suits. I took one cursory look in the bikini section and just threw in the towel gave up.

Anyway, I was seriously bummed. I really liked those bikini bottoms: black boxers, with a drawstring in front with little gold shells on the end, and big gold metal rings where the drawstrings came out. Got them in Berlin last March so it’s not like I can just zip out and buy another pair. The damage is severe.

However, I figured I could at least try to get something similar. So last Friday I went to a couple of stores to see if I could find black bikini-bottom boxers anywhere. Nope. Sold out. And then it dawned on me that every time I’ve tried to buy a bikini with boxer bottoms [because they suit my shape the best] at this time of the summer, they are always sold out EVERYWHERE. Always. Because evidently they’re the most popular type of bikini bottom so, at least at this time of year, they’re rare enough to constitute a serious shortage.

Which also means - maybe - that they’re rare enough to be attractive to thieves.

So I’m starting to give a bit more credit to GIRL 1’s theft theory, although I’m still having major trouble getting my head around the actual WEARING part. I mean, it’s bad enough to steal someone’s bathing suit, but then to actually WEAR it? UGH. Gross.

So, anyway, if any of you who are here in Niceland happen to see bikini bottoms that fit the description above hanging around a pool somewhere, please remove them from that person’s body IMMEDIATELY. Just for the sake of humiliation, you understand. I sure as hell won’t be wanting them back.

AND THE WEATHER HERE IN BOXERLESSLAND IS …
They kept going on and on about what a great weekend it was going to be weather-wise, but then it turned out to be just mediocre. Hardly a ray of sunshine, and today it was mostly foggy with a sort of damp chill in the air. Right now a decidedly cool 9°C [48F] with the sun coming up at 3.17 this morning and setting at 11.45 this evening.