Hi. I’m coming to Iceland. Can you help me plan my trip?
No. Sorry. I’m not a travel agent, nor am I particularly well-informed about touristy stuff – I’m just a regular person who likes to spend her free time ranting on the Internet. However, feel free to post your question in the forums where I’m sure either I or someone else will be able to answer them. You’ll have to register, but it’s easy, and free.
Yes, but I don’t know how to use a forum. I only have about ten questions about which places to visit, which whale-watching tours are best in the north-east of the country, which car rental places are cheapest, and so on. So could you help me plan my trip to Iceland just this once, because I’m really really busy and don’t have time to look on the Internet?
Hi, can you send me information about [just about any highly specialized topic relating to Iceland]?
Sorry, no. Please refer to question 1, above.
Hi. I’m a reporter for [insert name of big important newspaper] and had a question for you. Do you have a telephone number so I can contact you?
Er, hi. I know you’re a reporter with [insert name of big important newspaper] and I’m just a humble blogger, but you might want to start by ASKING for my help and then saying PLEASE.
PS – it’s “have”, not “had”.
Hi. I’m coming to Iceland. Can we meet for coffee?
I’ve met many great people through this website and I’ve even met some of them for coffee – though I should say they are mostly people I’ve formed some sort of relationship with through the comments section, or other correspondence. But generally I don’t go out for coffee for people who read this website, just because they’re coming to Iceland. Please don’t take it personally – it’s just that I have a family, and a job, and a life, and a very time-consuming hobby. I just don’t have the time.
I’ve noticed that you write “very” as “wery”. Don’t you know that “very” is spelled with a “v”?
Yep. I do know. Just poking a little fun at the Icelanders’ inability to differentiate between v and w, as outlined in this post.
Do you take your own pictures for this site?
Yes I do.
Which blog platform and template do you use?
I wrote a comment and it hasn’t appeared. Why not?
Hm. Not sure. Have you had a look at our comment guidelines?
Oh, I get it. You don’t approve comments that are opposed to your views. Censorship Icelandic-style.
Wrong: I don’t approve comments from belligerent assholes. Nor comments that show a profound lack of understanding of the subject under discussion.
Hi. I’m coming to Iceland. Can I bring you anything?
Why, yes! As it happens I’m often looking for people to bring me little care packages, particularly from the States. Nothing illicit, you understand, more like, say, the latest series of Mad Men, or Season 4 of Grey’s Anatomy, or Season 5 of Grey’s Anatomy, or a pair of Asics. Ideally you would let me know with some advance warning so that I could purchase the stuff online and have it sent to your house. Ta!
Oh, and if you do bring me a care package, coffee is on me.