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After which she put on her faerie costume and went to make steaming drink for the tourists

So the mayhem is underway. The heart-stopping explosions out of nowhere started yesterday … incredibly startling at first, but quick to become commonplace. I’m talking firecrackers and fireworks being exploded beneath people’s windows and in other inappropriate places. If any of you foreigners visiting our fair isle and reading this are wondering why there are not a single trash can in sight and all the outdoor mailboxes are barricaded – that’s why. Measures have been taken.

Yes, dear readers, fireworks are sold freely to the general public up here in the days between Christmas and New Year’s, although FORTUNATELY there is an age limit of 18 years so of course there is NO WAY for underaged kids to get their hands on them, just as there is NO WAY for them to get their hands on any liquor for New Year’s Eve. Meaning that those explosions are almost all generated by adults with their full wits about them [heheh – yah right].

Meanwhile, this e-zine has listed Reykjavic [sic] as one of the ten best places in the world to spend New Year’s Eve, right up there with Vegas and downtown Greensboro [?]. Far be it from me to contest this claim, although personally I would have put Reykjavík at number 1 because it hosts, without question, the most superexcellent New Year’s Eve party in all the world – the entire city, all of it. However, I must confess I was slightly taken aback by the editor’s description of our antics up here on New Year’s Eve, to wit:

… the locals celebrate by welcoming tourists into their homes, serving them steaming drink, lighting bonfires and prancing around in elf and faerie costumes. Just like in Lord of the Rings! As a bonus, if the night is clear you’ll see the splendor of the Northern Lights as midnight strikes.

First of all, I have to wonder what sort of shit his sources were smokin’ because … elves and faeries? Okay. And, you know, personally I’ve never known anyone to fling open their doors to tourists to welcome them into their homes to serve them hot drinks … but then maybe I’m just hanging around with the wrong people. Third, there is not a fricking hope in hell that you’ll see the northern lights at midnight on New Year’s Eve because a) the skies are absolutely FILLED with exploding fireworks and b) the spaces in between are absolutely FILLED with billowing clouds of smoke from exploding fireworks.

But hey – far be it from me to detract anyone from getting dressed up Just like in Lord of the Rings! but I’m willing to bet that anyone who does will be a tourist who has been reading YES Weekly and thinks this is the way we do it up here. Come to think of it, I hope lots and lots of people do, because, you know, wouldn’t that be hilarious? Hordes of tourists all dressed up like elves and faeries, sniffing around the locals’ front doors, desperate to be let in for some steaming drink? Bring it on!

MEANWHILE, WE MAY NOT SEE ANY FIREWORKS AT ALL
Because they’re forecasting horrific weather for New Year’s Eve, meaning all our brennur may be cancelled and people will be advised to stay indoors and absolutely NOT to fire off any rockets that may unwittingly end up inside people’s coats or pants legs or nostrils. A bad storm is supposed to come through tomorrow and is supposed to persist on the 31st. Which will be a major drag … the only good thing I can think of that may come out of it is that my dear stepdaughter who has been here for Christmas and who is supposed to fly back to New York tomorrow will have her flight cancelled and thus will be able to spend New Year’s with us. We Shall See. Actually the same sort of weather happened a couple of years ago and all the brennur were moved to New Year’s Day, which just wasn’t the same. But, whaddaryagonnado. The temps have been inching upwards all day and are now 2°C [36F], sunrise was at 11.22 am and sunset at 3.37 pm.

PS actually to be fair there is old folklore that elves and fairies appear on the Þrettándinn – Twelfth Night, January 6th. There are brennur [bonfires] held on that night also, and in some parts of the country people dress up like the king and queen of the elves and make an appearance at the brennur – for the kids, much like Santa Claus.

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