So, obviously we watched the Eurovision semi-finals this evening like real troupers – we even got out the barbecue and EPI cooked up some lamb filets and baked potatoes that we imbibed in front of the telly. The songs were the usual Eurovision study in sappy mediocrity and camp unoriginality… until the end, when we got a double whammy – the excellent song from Bosnia-Herzegovina, that I sincerely hopes wins the finals [it got my vote tonight] and then of course old Silvia, who got BOOOOO..ed both before and after her performance. Which incidentally counts as originality, because I don’t recall that ever happening before.
Long story short [because it’s late and time for bedz, even if it’s still daylight outside] old Silvia didn’t make it through to the finals, which came as no surprise, really, as she managed to offend just about everyone and their grandmother over in Eurovisionland.
The big question was, how would she appear after her big defeat. And on the 10 o’clock news she delivered possibly her best performance to date. Totally in character, she appeared with huge sunglasses and streaks of black mascara reaching from behind them right down to her chin, and sobbed and whined about how everyone in Europe is a loser and she tried so hard including speaking only English and everything, and said all those awful things to everyone and she was sorry but she really really didn’t mean it, and next she’s going to America where “people have a brain” and everyone can tell the difference between what’s cool and what’s not. Impossible to do the clip justice in this space, but it was just perfect. She ended on a brave note by saying she couldn’t wait to come home and see all the people who will come to greet and cheer her at the airport.
So that’s it, the end of Silvía’s Euro adventure, what she’ll dream up next who knows but you can bet People Will Be Offended. No weather tonight as have more important matters to attend to. I’ll say no more.