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Breaking news! Icelanders are indeed terrorists!

At least if this shocking piece of information posted by Trev london in the comments to the last post is to be believed. Trev london, takeitaway:

I have some hot news. Gordon Brown has just announced on all BBC channels that, despite earlier statements to the contrary, Icelanders are indeed terrorists of the most dangerous order and all UK citizens are to be vigilant and report any suspicious behaviour by nordic neighbours, including but not limited to:

a) an over fondnes of fish, fishy smells, fish logos on clothing, loitering around fish counter in Tesco, fish skeletons poking out of waste bins etc, etc.
b) the wearing of sweaters of the type last seen in 1980 on Top Of The Pops worn by Haircut 100 singing their chart topper “Favourite Shirts”
c) displaying intelligence too highly developed for their own good
d) a tendency to be out drinking and enjoying themselves in the early hours when they should be in bed with a good book
e) Bjork or Sigur Ros ringtones
f) the opening of windows in cold weather
g) ordering of £40 bottles of wine in restaurants, whilst declaring “that’s very reasonable”
h) the putting of West Ham United on e-bay with a £1000 “buy now” opportunity
i) mastery of the English language way in excess of the indigenous population
j) the preparation and ingestation of disgusting liquidized animal entrails

The anti-terrorist branch of the Metropolitan Police have launched a “Terrorist Iceline” which should be called immediately any such tendencies are noticed. Within 10 minutes, an armed squad of specially trained officers (headed by Chief Insepector “call me” Darling of The Yard) will be around to kick the door down, seize their hard disks, Range Rovers and bank accounts.

Asked if this would not be against the law, PM Brown declared “the safety and security of hard working British families is our priority, and in any case we make the laws so we can do what we want. It will give the police a nice change from raiding mosques”.

A spokesperson from the Muslim Council of Great Britain was unavailable for comment.

[Haha! British humour rulz!!]

Comments

comments

Comments on this entry are closed.

  • JoeInVegas October 24, 2008, 4:37 pm

    Glad the Brits have come to their senses and finally realize what a threat to national security you Icelanders are. Waiting for our Homeland Security to soon issue a similar warning. Or just pull you all aside at airport security checkpoints and send you to Guantanimo without notifying anyone for three years. Unless McCain gets elected, then it might be seven years.

  • hildigunnur October 24, 2008, 4:38 pm

    hahahahahah 😀

  • Gray, Germany October 24, 2008, 4:53 pm

    “British humour rulz!!”

    Yes, indeed! Well, here’s an example of British humour I like very much:
    http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2498206364209961454
    Don’t mess with the Brits – even if they’re old and near retirement!
    🙂

  • trev london October 24, 2008, 5:35 pm

    Actually, I’ve been forced to phone the terrorist line after it occured to me that yesterday eve, as I was engaging with the nordic neighbour’s kids in a friendly game of “Monopoly” within the first circuit of the board they had a hotel on every street and there wasn’t enough money in the bank for me to get my £200 for passing “Go”.

  • mary October 24, 2008, 6:26 pm

    There I was agonising whether to wear my lovely Icelandic jumper to go out in, I took a chance and got away with it!

  • Bluegrass Mama October 24, 2008, 6:31 pm

    Thanks for the laugh, Alda & Trev!

  • Jon October 24, 2008, 6:42 pm

    Whew! I’m sure glad the Brits have come to their senses and realised just what a danger Iceland is to their very existence! I was worried shitless for the empire!

  • cactus zonie October 24, 2008, 6:44 pm

    Funny Trev. Good one. Don’t mean to break up the fun , but……

    Iceland followed Friedman to a “tee” and destroyed their whole system. Iceland has proven beyond any doubt that “Reganomics” and the whole “Trickle Down Economics” do not work. It is all based on Manias , Panics and Crashes. It’s a joke. Yes , there are consequences for deficits .

    I highly suggest that Icelanders and anyone who believes in free market systems watch this video.As for Icelanders , after watching this , you will wish you could go back in time. The GOP in America is DEAD.

    You had a very nice Democratic Socialist system in place that many around the world adored. Me included.

    May the political revolution start tomorrow !

    The year is 1984. Such a shame you listened to him. It only took from 1991 , when the “New Order” got elected , until 2008 to destroy it all.

    http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1107486496526618897

  • Chris October 24, 2008, 10:34 pm

    This is indeed great. And its good not to loose a sense of humor.

  • Gunnhildur October 24, 2008, 10:48 pm

    There are a few positive things that will come out of this whole mess in Iceland. People will be more critical of the powers that be, more frugal with their money and hopefully, now we’ve tasted some bitter xenophobia ourselves, we’ll be less contemptuous towards foreigners. Does anyone think that the people from Lithuania, US, Poland or any other place that were treated like crap recently in Iceland because of their nationalities made front page news in their respective countries?

    Thank you Alda for keeping up this blog and putting your free time into maintaining it. It is a much needed place for information and debate.

  • maja October 25, 2008, 2:55 am

    Good work, trev.

  • Eric outside Boston MA. October 25, 2008, 5:54 am

    As an American who has come to Iceland 7/8 times over the last 15 years to visit friends I have learned to enjoy your country (yes I went out of Reykjavik) and the people I have met.
    My friends come to the US every year so we talk about Iceland, their family, the farm and whatever. I found your blog 2 years ago and have enjoyed your attitude and commentary about life, Iceland, Politics and the neighbors in all their little details. I have enjoyed your voice as it has given me another view about a place I have come to care about.

    With all the problems lately we have had more emails and phone calls then usual with our friends. I have been reading your blog and really appreciate your voice as it again just lets me know more of what is being seen and talked about. It is a very tough and worrisome time. That some in the world will blame an individual person of your country they meet instead of the government and/or in this case Banking officials, is just sad. Many people in many places will be hurting soon because of all the problems that are occurring in the mismanaged economies of many countries and their financial systems.

    I noticed when I started this comment that the link to a humorous website I put up several years ago automatically filled itself in. Originally I deleted the link but I’ve just put it back. A little humor can help and these penguins in front of my house have nothing to do with Iceland but just every day goings on in my front yard.

  • Eric outside Boston MA. October 25, 2008, 5:56 am

    I will now post the link http://maplestreetpenguins.com

  • Gray, Germany October 25, 2008, 8:42 am

    “That some in the world will blame an individual person of your country they meet instead of the government and/or in this case Banking officials, is just sad.”
    Right! That’s unfair discrimination. People should do the right thing instead, like we do in Europe: Firstly ask “did you vote for…?” and then adjust the level of politeness to the answer!
    😀
    On second thought – strange how many US tourists voted for Gore and Kerry. Why didn’t the Dems win in a landslide in those elections???
    8-/

  • Gray, Germany October 25, 2008, 10:32 am

    I don’t understand almost anything, of course, but what has the late Danish linguist to say about the current crisis? And how does he say that – a voice from the grave? How is Björk involved in this? And doesn’t Icelandic electricity actually come from geothermic generators and dams and not from oil paid in Dollar or Euro? Questions over questions…

  • alda October 25, 2008, 12:09 pm

    You know, Garpur, I have a pretty high tolerance level when it comes to comments. I’l allow things to go quite far, as long as there is constructive debate going on. You, on the other hand, apparently come here only to insult – as you rightly point out yourself. So, sorry to say, but you have overstayed your welcome. I’m deleting your last comment. Goodbye.

  • Marc October 25, 2008, 12:30 pm

    Alda,

    Totally unrelated to this post. Currency exchange ISK vs any other currency has halted altogether in october I understand. Now that your government has secured a multibillion dollar loan this should resume quite quickly. The big question however is: at what rate should the government resume currency exchange?

    Obviously if they try to pretend 150 ISK equals 1 €, not many europeans will change € into ISK. On the other hand, if they fix it at 600 ISK to the €, the exchange will be repaired, but at enormous cost to the icelandic population. The bailout money will last longer though. What are your media saying about the exchange rates lately?

  • RP October 25, 2008, 12:52 pm

    Never mind the British, Icelanders are always welcome here in Ireland where we have had our own excesses in the very recent past.

  • Magnús October 25, 2008, 1:22 pm

    Hi all

    Perhaps I’ll try and answer Marcs comment on the exchange rate.

    One of the conditions of the IMF loan is that the krona will be floated again. I think the general consensus is that the exchange rate will plummet, and perhaps go as low as 300 ISK to the Euro.

    However, the rate wil hopefully recover very fast again. The funds provided by the IMF, 800m USD, will be here in about 2 weeks time. Imports have been virtually non-existent for 3 weeks now while exports have been at all time high. We are already building up foreign currency reserves abroad since payments from costumers have been frozen in the UK because of the Landsbanki freezing order.

    I choose to be optimistic and that the currency index which is estimated at 250 at the moment will be around 160 to 170 by next spring.

    As an example of the export fever that is currently sweeping Iceland is that there is work underway on exporting approximately 10.000 used cars to Europe. This is actually economical because of the extremely low exchange rate provided the governemet will repay some of the original import tolls. Perhaps we can interest you in a great deal on a slightly used, mint condition, 2007 Range Rover ? 🙂

  • trev london October 25, 2008, 4:44 pm

    If only the steering wheel was on the correct side, I might be interested Magnus 🙂

  • Marc October 25, 2008, 9:08 pm

    @ Magnùs: Thanks for the update. I really do hope you will be resourcefull and get around the crisis somehow. Me & my family are probably visiting your fair country next summer. That ‘ll help too I hope. Not to be too pessimistic, depending on how the deconstruction of Iceland’s banks turns out it might turn really sour. From what I’ve read on these specific banks it doesn’t seem like they were at the forefront of those investing in incomprehensible high yielding low risk products, so it shouldn’t be a total disaster. (the reason of their collapse does seem to be a total lack of faith in the icelandic government and its central bank, and without a serious backup any bank or insurance company is toast). On the other hand Iceland will be forced to hold firesales for those assets.

    Do not expect things will smoothly get better over the next 6 months, it will be a rocky ride at the very least. I would expect some degree of panic as some effects become apparent too.

    But in the end, you will pull through. You DO have resources, and most important, you have the resources for a 21st century economy! As long as you are prepared to come to terms with a (much) lower standard of living over the next 10 years or so.

  • Andrea October 31, 2008, 10:51 pm

    Have found this amusing link on the UK’s use of the same anti-terrorism laws to prevent UK citizens from putting garbage out on the wrong day. They apparently go as far as planting secret cameras in tin cans …

    http://www.mailonsunday.co.uk/news/article-1082225/March-dustbin-Stasi-Half-councils-use-anti-terror-laws-watch-people-putting-rubbish-wrong-day.html
    Possibly this will improve now that many of these %^^& councils have lost large sums in Icelandic banks 🙂