all in the family

Today EPI and I are celebrating our second wedding anniversary. Huzzah!

Two years since we walked down the isle in the Toronto City Hall, which – truth be told – was more like the corridor to the bathroom in a Vegas chapel than the route to the altar. Not that it mattered. We were just as psyched.

EPI and I met about 12 years ago, when I’d been back in Iceland for about a year. He started working at the company where I was working and we had an instant rapport. It wasn’t exactly love at first sight, but definitely like at first sight. EPI was one of the funniest people I’d ever met, plus he was really nice, and soon it seemed like coffee breaks just weren’t the same if he wasn’t around. Our friendship slowly developed into something deeper and before we both knew it we were crazy about each other.

It was pretty complicated, though, at first. EPI was going through a separation and had three beautiful daughters that he was very close to and which he adored. Meanwhile, I had a string of failed relationships behind me and wasn’t very good with the trust thing. Plus there were all these other people involved, and tattered emotions all over the place. There were lots of times when I honestly thought we were not going to make it, and many times when we tried to walk away. But it was one of those things. There was no walking away. We had this intense bond, and in the end we realized there was really no choice. We had to make it work.

And we have! I sometimes can’t believe how beautifully it’s all worked out, considering. I mean, having a relationship is hard enough [sometimes I just don’t know how people have relationships at all! …], to say nothing of the tender and complicated emotions when there are children brought into the mix … in all honesty, I used to think it was impossible. There are so many things that can go wrong, at every stage in the game, so many pitfalls, it can be like walking in a landmine zone. Truly, I often think it’s a miracle for two people to actually make a relationship work. Either that, or a fluke.

Mind you, we have - and had - a lot of good things going for us – our wonderful daughters, for one, who are all blessed with very generous, positive, sensible and sweet dispositions. I know from my own experience how easy it is to become bitter and resentful and feel victimized and all the rest of it in a broken-family situation, and miraculously they have not gone down that road, which is such a blessing – for everyone concerned. Instead they are embracing life and have their own aspirations and interests. They’re making their own lives work.

Anyway, two [or 12!] years on it just keeps getting better. EPI is still my favourite company in the whole world and after all those ups and downs we’ve now reached a plateau where, yes, sometimes there are challenges, but mostly there are just picnics.

GORGEOUS SUNNY DAY TODAY
Clear and brilliant blue sky, not a cloud visible at the moment, temps 12°C [54F], sunrise 3.22 am, sunset 11.41 pm.

It was a gorgeous weekend. On Saturday we went to my stepdaughter’s graduation ceremony in the Laugardalshöll arena, which was packed with proud relatives and friends of the 850 or so students who were graduating from the University of Iceland on that day [it was actually 1000+ in total, but not all of them were present].

Happily the Faculty of Medicine was second in line of all the Faculties, so we were able to sneak out after we’d seen her receive her diploma [from afar!]. We then headed back home to continue the preparations for her party later that day and evening.

It was held at her mom’s place and had all the required ingredients for success:

… food

… bubbly

… speeches

… singing [a requirement at Nicelandic parties]

… silly faces

… beautiful people with hats

… and last, but not least: toasts to success!

AND NOW IT IS MONDAY
With the most bizarre weather conditions - showers overlapping luminous sunshine. It can’t make up its mind if it wants to rain or shine - but no matter! There’s a bit of a wind, not too cold, and temps are a balmy 14°C [57F]. Sunrise this morning was at 2.57 am and sunset at 12.01, meaning we no longer have daybreak or nightfall - just continuous daylight. I adore this time of year.

My eldest stepdaughter is graduating from medical school today.

She embarked upon this journey seven years ago, having graduated from upper secondary school with the highest grades of that graduating class [what they call dúx here in Niceland]. She got off to a flying start, but somewhere during that first year became somewhat overwhelmed by everything and decided she needed to take some time off.

She took a break the following year, working for the first half and going abroad for the second to stay with a friend of ours in the UK. While there, she picked up her medical textbooks again and happily found that her fascination and enthusiasm for medicine returned. She came back to Iceland, went into her second year, and has not looked back since. At times it’s been a bumpy ride; she’s had to face a lot of challenges in both her personal and her professional life, including some things that nobody should have to endure. Yet she’s made it through with courage and grace and has not wavered in her commitment to her chosen path.

The high regard and goodwill she already enjoys in the profession became evident early this year when she was trying - and managed - to get a temporary place as an intern at a hospital in New York. People were going out of their way to help her. Not only is she exceptionally intelligent, she’s also has something far more rare among members of the medical profession - the power to empathize. She’s a kind person, self-aware, and very skilled. She’s going to make an excellent physician.

Til hamingju með þennan glæsilega áfanga elsku Ásthildur okkar!!

AND THE WEATHER IS COOPERATING
It’s very beautiful, brilliant sunshine, though with a cool breeze in the air. Currently 10°C [50F]; the sun came up at 2.58 and will go down one minute short of midnight, at 11.59.

AAH had two of her wisdom teeth out on Tuesday and has been moping around the house since then, looking much like a chipmunk with its cheeks full of nuts [poor baby!]. Thus the biggest challenge so far this week has been what to feed her. A fickle eater at the best of times, AAH has turned up her nose at most of my crafty dining solutions, including the ingenious plan I hatched yesterday to feed her baby food. Go figure.

Consequently YT has been expending considerable energy fretting that she’s not getting enough nourishment. So far, AAH’s diet has consisted of a smoothie upon rising [which these days is usually around 1.30 pm] and then nothing else until around 8 pm. Two days out of three, at her behest, I’ve made cauliflower soup that is then put through the food processor, and yesterday she had vanilla skyr with applesauce and heavy cream for dinner, followed by a vanilla milkshake with build-up protein powder mixed in. So far today it’s been the smoothie again [that food processor has not seen so much action since she was an infant] whereas dinner is still an unwritten page. All possible suggestions would be most welcome. MOST welcome. Ta.

I TOOK MY NEW CAMERA FOR A WALK YESTERDAY
And snapped a few birds out by the golf course who are in full-on nesting mode these days. The arctic tern - kría - is notorious for defending its nesting areas with a vengeance and was super-aggressive yesterday, coming out in droves to dive-bomb me within an inch of my head.

Meanwhile, down on the shore I encountered a family of oystercatchers - a mommy and daddy with three baby birds. The mommy was teaching her young how to scrounge for food …

… and they really seemed to be getting the hang of it.

Meanwhile the daddy bird whistled and peeped and jumped up and down to get my attention so that I’d follow him - which I did. But only because I happened to be going that way, natch. I’m not that easily duped.

When he decided he’d strung me along far enough he suddenly took flight and went back to join his family, no doubt congratulating himself on his mighty powers of persuasion.

IT’S EQUALLY BEAUTIFUL TODAY
Although from the window a bit misleading - there’s actually a fairly chilly wind out there. Right now it’s 11°C [52F] and the sun came up bright and early this morning at 2.59 am and will dip down past the horizon at 11.57 pm.

For about the past two weeks there’s been this ridiculously annoying HUM in our toilet whenever we flush it. It lasts for as long as it takes for the water tank to fill, then stops. During the day it’s not too noticeable, but if one of us happens to go to the loo during the night it’s like the entire building is vibrating. It’s embarrassing.

So YT finally got proactive today, hauled out the yellow pages and called a plumber. For the record, I looked for the number of the immortal plumber, hoping to entice him in for some edifying conversation, but clearly he’s become so popular that he no longer sees the need to advertise in the Yellow Pages. In lieu of that I picked the first ad that caught my eye, featuring a very robust-looking lumberjack-type guy wielding his tools. That’s my man, I thought, and dialled his number in similarly robust fashion.

He turned out to be an absolute deadbeat. If the sound of his voice was saliva it would have dribbled. I hadn’t spoken three words before he asked me in his saliva-dribbling voice if he could call me back in five. Surprisingly he did, but the minute I mentioned the word ‘toilet’ it was: “Uh, we’re really busy right now, call me back in two weeks.” Yeah, right. Whatever.

So, on to the next ad, which had no rugged lumberjack plumber in it, but in which the guy on the other end seemed infinitely more amicable, you know, as plumbers go. He said he was real busy right now too but that he’d pop round after work to have a listen to our toilet. ‘Yeh, right,’ thought I, not believing for a second that he’d stick to it. BUT just to be on the safe side, I called EPI and told him that at least one of us had to be home, there was a plumber coming over with a stethoscope.

I had a meeting to go to at six, but took my cell with me and had it on the table in front of me, on silent, just in case. Even though I had no faith the plumber guy would show up, but you know, JUST IN CASE. Halfway through the meeting, my cell starts flashing. Sure enough, it was the plumber guy, claiming he was standing outside our front door, wondering why nobody was answering. And I’m like, WHERE THE HELL IS EPI??

Turns out EPI was having a very loud jam session with his good buddy Eric Clapton in his playroom, the one you can’t get into without walking sideways because there are so many guitars filling it. So I called EPI’s cell [I’d left the meeting by then and was standing out in the hall, frantically working the remote control, a.k.a. cellphone] but nobody answered so I called our home phone number but nobody answered there, either. ARGH! The plumber who I thought would DEFINITELY NOT show up was standing outside on our doorstep, nobody was home, and no doubt the toilet was singing a fricking aria in the bathroom. So I called the plumber back, all humiliated, convinced we’d never, ever be able to get another plumber to come to our home ever again … and he’s like, “It’s all good. I’m in.”

So turns out EPI had finally heard the doorbell and let him in, with old Eric Clapton blasting out of the stereo and AAH [getting all dolled up for her final school dance of the season] fresh out of the shower so the bathroom was filled with steam. So EPI leads our VIP into the bathroom and flushes the toilet with flair … and – wait for it … wait for it – there was NOTHING. Not a single hum. Not even a vibration.

Evil, evil toilet.

So EPI did the only sane thing under the circumstances – he started humming. Like the toilet. Hummmmmmmmmm! … hummmmmmmmm! … perfect pitch and everything. And the plumber just sort of stood there and stared, probably wondering what sort of lunatic asylum he had landed in. At which point [according to EPI] he started furiously rattling off all the possible reasons for our [non-existent] humming before quickly grabbing the ISK 2,000 he said he’d charge and bidding a hasty retreat.

Meanwhile, EPI has decided to embark on a new career – he figures he’d make an excellent assistant professor in the Faculty of Plumbing at the Icelandic Technical College, making toilet sounds for plumber candidates to analyze. As for our toilet – well, it started singing again just after the plumber left.

WEATHER!

Started off amazing, like yesterday, but as the day wore on it gradually clouded over and by early evening there was a damp kind of chill in the air. Incidentally, the Reykjavík Arts Festival kicked off this evening, and you’ll never guess who is a special guest: Dr. Ruth!! [don’t ask me why.] She was interviewed on Kastljós this evening and showed that she is still in top form. Did you know, for instance, that after age 50 women need to use lubricant and men can no longer swing from chandeliers? Cor! I didn’t. Right now 6°C [43F] and sunrise this morning was at 4.12, sunset at 10.38.

Mindful of the fact that my favourite number is eight, and knowing that we have tickets to see Eric Clapton later this summer, and currently being immersed in Clapton’s autobiography, EPI is delighted to pass on a fascinating tidbit to our YT:

EPI: You’ll never guess: the Eric Clapton concert is on 08.08.08.

YT: No!

EPI: Sure is!

YT: Wow. What a great number. [pause.] Apparently that’s the second-most favourite date to get married on, after 07.07.07. I read that somewhere.

EPI: Yeah?

YT: Maybe we should have waited. [pause] Do you think you could divorce me so we can get married again?

EPI: [thinks] … No.

YT: Why not?

EPI: Because.

YT: Because what?

EPI: It could be a trick.

YOU’LL BE RELIEVED TO KNOW THAT WE SURVIVED THE WEEKEND

It was supposed to be all awful weather this weekend, as in: DON’T LEAVE TOWN IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE. Meanwhile, the weather has been perfectly amicable, even if the sun hasn’t been shining constantly [ok, hasn’t been shining at all]. Methinks we Nicelanders are getting so spoiled with global warming and everything that if there are clouds and rain in cards for the weekend, it’s automatically a disaster. It was supposed to be stormy, too … and it wasn’t. In fact there was hardly any wind. EPI and I took a long walk today out by the lighthouse at Grótta [3.52 km, 41.54 minutes, 11:56 min/km pace, 191 calories to be exact, according to my neat little Nike+iPod gizmo] and it was just great. Temps right now are 9°C [50F], wind is non-existent, and the sun is about to go down. Sunrise was at 4.22, sunset at 10.29.

Last night my father-in-law invited EPI and I, and EPI’s brother and his wife, out to a lavish dinner at Við Tjörnina*. Just … because.

I’m such a fan of my father-in-law. When I’m 82 I want to be just like him. Well, maybe not just like him, but similar. He’s completely unstoppable. After EPI’s mother died a couple of years ago, he could easily have withdrawn and given up, robbed of his raison d’etre [she had Alzheimer’s for many years and he took care of her] - but no. A few [difficult] months after her death he announced one day that he was moving out of his condo and into a hotel for a few days so he could have some work done on the place. That burst of energy was just a small sign of things to come. Next he decided to fly to London to buy some material for a bespoke suit, because in his opinion the quality of the stuff they had here wasn’t good enough. On his return, he announced that he was throwing a grand party to celebrate his 80th birthday. He rented a hall at one of the better hotels in town, invited about 200 people, and after everyone had eaten and drank and generally had a lovely time, he sent everyone home with a book he’d published - of limericks that he had composed over the years [he’s an accomplished writer of poetry and his work has appeared in many publications].

His next undertaking was to start ‘collecting islands’. He travelled to Cuba, then Svalbard in Norway, then Greenland. Up next are the Hebrides, this May. When he’s not off gallivanting abroad, he’s on the go here in Iceland, visiting friends or family, particularly in Akureyri, which was his constituency for many years [he was in politics for almost all of his career]. He follows social and current events with great dedication, and takes part in the discourse by writing articles and sending them to the papers. In short, he engages with life. And while I’m sure his days are not always peachy he never complains or tries to manipulate others into being responsible for his wellbeing. On the contrary, he makes a point of being proactive and staying in touch, even if it’s just calling up to say hello for a minute or two. He shows up at any birthday party thrown - children’s, grandchildren’s, even great-grandchildren’s - and does surprising and unexpected things like invite us out for dinner at an expensive restaurant, just … because.

Truly, I feel so blessed to have EPI’s family around me. I have learned so much from them. They are so very different from my own family, with its extensive dysfunction and lack of communication. With EPI’s family I get to see how a normal family operates, all the things that are given so freely, that I have never experienced on my own skin. Things that lots of people consider normal, that for me have been such a revelation. No need to cite examples; suffice it to say that in my family everything is just much more … difficult. Or perhaps just a lot more … absent.

FROM THE ‘COLD PUDDLE’, WE NOW SIMPLY HAVE ‘THE PUDDLE’
Because it hasn’t stopped raining for the last three days. It’s great, though - mild temps for the first time in weeks and almost all the snow has melted, which most importantly means that all the ice is gone. In fact, I could very well have been mistaken, but I could have sworn I felt the first whiff of spring in the air today. Temps are currently 5°C [40F] and our sun came up at 9.22 this morning and set at 6.03 this afternoon.

* whose website seems to be out of commission right now.

Yesterday I woke up at 4 am after 2.5 hours of sleep to discover that Daughter was not yet home from the school formal she’d gone to.

It was [is] the major event of the year at her school. Everyone had Thursday and Friday off, and the day began early with a premiere of the school musical at 10 am. After that she went for brunch with her classmates and hung out with them, playing board games, etc. She came home in the late afternoon and got dressed, then I drove her to a restaurant where she was meeting her class for dinner [they invited their teacher out] - then she was going to a party, and then to the dance, which was being held at this venue called Broadway.

She was ridiculously badly dressed, of course - the weather has been appalling here these past couple of days and she had on her new [vintage] sleeveless dress with stiletto pumps and no stockings. I managed to talk her into borrowing my wool coat [she was going to just wear a shawl since she didn’t have a proper coat of her own] and held my breath when she made her way precariously to and from the car, as the ground was covered with snow and ice and, well, stiletto pumps don’t have a great deal of traction. The dance was due to finish at 3 am and I told her to come straight home, but on the off chance that she went home with her off-and-not-quite-on-again boyfriend to make sure to let me know, and she agreed.

Cut to the part where I wake up at 4 am. I checked my cellphone - no text message. I got up, called her cell. No answer. I sent a message: WHERE ARE YOU??? - then crawled back into bed, waiting for a response. None came. I lay awake for an hour. Got up - called again. No answer. Decided that eating a little something might help me sleep [what a delusion]. Called her phone a couple more times. Got back into bed, closed eyes, tried to stave off images of worst-possible-scenarios that persisted in floating through my head. Like last New Year’s Eve, for instance, a 19-year old kid walked home from that very venue alone and was found drowned the next day, having somehow fallen into the Elliðaá river. And in December, the sister of a friend went to a bar in downtown Reykjavík and someone slipped one of those date-rape pills into her beer. She managed to call her boyfriend just before she passed out, and by the time he came to get her, her wallet had been stolen. Need I detail the horrific visions that went through my mind as I lay there at 5.20 am, wide awake, wondering where the hell my daughter was? I think not.

By 6 am I’d realized that lying in bed was the worst possible thing to do [my imagination was running rampant] so I decided I might as well get up and try to work. In between I kept calling, pondering at what point I should contact the police, how I could go about finding out the phone numbers of AAH’s friends, and wondering - not for the first time - at what point those poor parents who had lost their son had decided that something was seriously wrong.

Around 6.45 EPI woke up [he’d missed all this] and assumed the voice of reason. There must be a good explanation, he said. She’d stayed over somewhere [’yes, but why didn’t she let me know when it was the last thing I asked her to do…’ etc.] and anyway, her friends had been with her and would not have let her go anywhere by herself. No, she had not walked home, she couldn’t anyway in those shoes. No, she had not been raped in the bathroom [’Yes, but that happened at another school dance…’ etc.] and no, she was not passed out in a snowbank from a date-rape pill. She’d probably gone home with her off-and-not-quite-on-again boyfriend [’yes, but they hadn’t been getting along, and anyway, why hadn’t she let me know like she always did…’ etc.]. Back and forth. On and on.

Believe it or not, I did not have the cellphone number of off-and-not-quite-on-again boyfriend, but by 10 am I’d dug it up. Called, and got a groggy OANQOABF on the other end. Yes, AAH was there. He put her on. Sleepy voice. ‘Hello?’

You can believe that she received a blast into that pretty little ear of hers. Why the hell had she not answered my calls, what the hell was she thinking not letting me know?? etc. Her phone, she said, was still at Broadway, so she hadn’t been able to let me know. Hello!!! Was I not talking to her on a cellphone at that very moment?? Could that very same cellphone not have been used to send one wee text message in the middle of the night? Hm?? - She hadn’t wanted to wake me, she said. ARGH!!!

Turns out that a friend of hers had kept her coat-check tag, and the friend had left. So AAH could not retrieve any of her stuff at the end of the night, hence her bag with everything in it, plus my new wool coat, had been left behind. OANQOABF had gallantly provided her with a jacket to throw over her shoulders and had taken her home - to his place. Because she hadn’t wanted to disturb us by coming home and ringing the doorbell in the middle of the night [m-hm].

Anyway, it was the night from hell, for as I explained to AAH when I’d finally calmed down enough to address her without shouting, not knowing where your child is is probably the worst thing that can happen to a parent. Most parents, at least. She was, predictably, overcome with remorse, and has given me her solemn vow that she will never, ever pull a stunt like this again. Here’s hoping she keeps her word.

IT JUST WILL NOT STOP SNOWING AROUND HERE
Yesterday we had temps above freezing for the first time in ages, and it rained. By late afternoon we had a wicked storm, so bad that EPI was forced to postpone a trip to a cabin with his buddies - they do this every year, bring their guitars and drums and things and have a weekend jam session in between eating lots of putrid food [’tis the season] and drinking lots of alcohol. This morning it started snowing again and temps dropped, so we have ice beneath the freshly-fallen snow which as everyone knows can be très risky. EPI headed out this morning instead, so my concerns about AAH have been replaced with concerns about whether EPI and his friends make it in one piece. Life’s a beach. Temps -2°C [28F], sunrise was at 9.45 and sunset due for 5.40 pm.

PS - I expect that later today we shall have the 200,000th visitor to this site. Visitor no. 100,000 got a virtual half-bottle of Lýsi [cod liver oil] and bouquet of roses - what lovely gift shall we bestow on our visitor no 200,000?

Got an email from my uncle this evening, assuring me that he had cast his vote for the Weather Report [last chance, everybody!] and also reminding me that I have some pretty significant ties to the captain’s quarter noted in the last post. Which, as it happens, I had not forgotten, but had simply omitted because I didn’t have a photo of the particular house central to those ties - the house that my great-grandfather built, and where both my father and my uncle were born.

My great-grandfather on my father’s side was a sea captain who graduated from the Stýrimannaskóli in 1912. Like all the other sea captains he built a house in the area, on Öldugata, which - if you remember your lesson from last post - means ‘wave street’ and is a derivative of alda [it’s alda in the possessive case, in fact] - as well as being a woman’s [given] name.

My great-grandfather named his only daughter Alda [well, Guðrún Alda, actually, but she was always called Alda], which probably says something about his strong ties to the sea. And because it is common here in Iceland to name children after their grandparents, I wound up with the same name as my grandmother - Alda, meaning ‘wave’. When I moved back to Iceland nearly 14 years ago, the first apartment I bought was on Bárugata, which - you’ll recall - also means ‘wave street’ and happens to run parallel to ‘Öldugata’ - ‘Alda’s street’ - where my great-grandfather built his house, and where both my father and my uncle were born. In fact, I looked down on both ‘wave streets’ from my window - Öldugata from one side of the flat, and Bárugata on the other.

And thus concludes the story of YT’s ties to the captain’s quarter.

AND AS OF TODAY, I NO LONGER HAVE PERMISSION TO BITCH ABOUT THE WEATHER
Because today totally takes the cake in the miserable weather sweepstakes. It was awful. In fact I decided to white-knuckle it through my endorphin withdrawal today, despite the fact that I was desperate for a run, because the weather was so damn ghastly. What was it, you ask? Blizzard, snowdrift, freezing rain? Hell no, that would have been fun. This was the coldest mutha of a wind we’ve had for years, a mean wind that blew through in violent spasms and just sounded bad. There was not a single bit of humour in the weather today - it was just nasty. Right now we have -8°C but feels like -18, and that’s 18F and feels like 0°F. [Yeah yeah, I know you have it worse in Minnesota, and believe me, I sympathize!] Sunup today 10.13 am, sunset 5.10 pm.

PS in case anyone is interested in knowing where this captain’s quarter and environs are located, here’s a map.