yule

So, Christmas officially ended yesterday here in Niceland, with the passing of þrettándinn, meaning ‘the thirteenth’ - or, in plain old English - Twelfth Night. [Incidentally, I wondered for years why it was called the 12th in English and the 13th in Icelandic … until I figured out that here in Iceland we celebrate Christmas a day earlier than the Anglo Saxons. D’oh!]

That day - þrettándinn - is traditionally marked with more brennur [at which people dressed up in elf and fairy costumes sometimes appear, so yes, this guy had some of his facts straight. Fireworks displays are held, members of the general populace shoot up any leftover rockets, and also take down their Christmas decorations, making this also a day of flying Christmas trees, as people generally toss them down from their balconies when they’re done. From there they are dragged to the sidewalks where bright orange trucks from the City come pick them up to give them a second life as wood chips to be used on walking paths, meaning that anyone who has become overly attached to their tree can go visit it later.

We decided to let our beautiful tree stay up for one extra day because, well, it is just so darn good looking. Plus we had people over for dinner last night and EPI’s sister brought a bottle of Veuve Cliquot and, well, you just can’t take down a Christmas tree when you’re high on Veuve Cliquot. It’s just not humanly possible. Trust me. You don’t even wanna try.

Anyway. Christmas is over, the sun rises higher in the sky each day, and the New Year stretches ahead like an unwritten blog post. Life is good.

IT’S LOOKING MIGHTY GORGEOUS OUT THERE
Frigid and clear these next few days is what the weatherman is forecasting. Currently -2°C [28F], sunrise was at 11.12 and sunset due for 3.56 pm.

PS - Some of you may be surprised to see that yesterday’s post has been pulled. The subject matter turned out to be a bit too flammable and attracted interest from camps that YT had no idea were watching. Potentially this might have harmed not only YT but also someone very close to me. Hence measures were taken.

In Germany, they have a half-hour TV show that they’ve aired on New Year’s Eve day every year for the past 40 years or so, that is an inextricable part of the tradition over there [and also happens to be one of the few things on TV not dubbed into German].

Mindful of its popularity, and because we love our traditions here at the Weather Report, we give you our own little custom: the same New Year’s post as last year and the year before that, and probably next year and the year after that. Because it’s our favourite joke. Happy New Year, everyone!!!

So the mayhem is underway. The heart-stopping explosions out of nowhere started yesterday … incredibly startling at first, but quick to become commonplace. I’m talking firecrackers and fireworks being exploded beneath people’s windows and in other inappropriate places. If any of you foreigners visiting our fair isle and reading this are wondering why there are not a single trash can in sight and all the outdoor mailboxes are barricaded - that’s why. Measures have been taken.

Yes, dear readers, fireworks are sold freely to the general public up here in the days between Christmas and New Year’s, although FORTUNATELY there is an age limit of 18 years so of course there is NO WAY for underaged kids to get their hands on them, just as there is NO WAY for them to get their hands on any liquor for New Year’s Eve. Meaning that those explosions are almost all generated by adults with their full wits about them [heheh - yah right].

Meanwhile, this e-zine has listed Reykjavic [sic] as one of the ten best places in the world to spend New Year’s Eve, right up there with Vegas and downtown Greensboro [?]. Far be it from me to contest this claim, although personally I would have put Reykjavík at number 1 because it hosts, without question, the most superexcellent New Year’s Eve party in all the world - the entire city, all of it. However, I must confess I was slightly taken aback by the editor’s description of our antics up here on New Year’s Eve, to wit:

… the locals celebrate by welcoming tourists into their homes, serving them steaming drink, lighting bonfires and prancing around in elf and faerie costumes. Just like in Lord of the Rings! As a bonus, if the night is clear you’ll see the splendor of the Northern Lights as midnight strikes.

First of all, I have to wonder what sort of shit his sources were smokin’ because … elves and faeries? Okay. And, you know, personally I’ve never known anyone to fling open their doors to tourists to welcome them into their homes to serve them hot drinks … but then maybe I’m just hanging around with the wrong people. Third, there is not a fricking hope in hell that you’ll see the northern lights at midnight on New Year’s Eve because a) the skies are absolutely FILLED with exploding fireworks and b) the spaces in between are absolutely FILLED with billowing clouds of smoke from exploding fireworks.

But hey - far be it from me to detract anyone from getting dressed up Just like in Lord of the Rings! but I’m willing to bet that anyone who does will be a tourist who has been reading YES Weekly and thinks this is the way we do it up here. Come to think of it, I hope lots and lots of people do, because, you know, wouldn’t that be hilarious? Hordes of tourists all dressed up like elves and faeries, sniffing around the locals’ front doors, desperate to be let in for some steaming drink? Bring it on!

MEANWHILE, WE MAY NOT SEE ANY FIREWORKS AT ALL
Because they’re forecasting horrific weather for New Year’s Eve, meaning all our brennur may be cancelled and people will be advised to stay indoors and absolutely NOT to fire off any rockets that may unwittingly end up inside people’s coats or pants legs or nostrils. A bad storm is supposed to come through tomorrow and is supposed to persist on the 31st. Which will be a major drag … the only good thing I can think of that may come out of it is that my dear stepdaughter who has been here for Christmas and who is supposed to fly back to New York tomorrow will have her flight cancelled and thus will be able to spend New Year’s with us. We Shall See. Actually the same sort of weather happened a couple of years ago and all the brennur were moved to New Year’s Day, which just wasn’t the same. But, whaddaryagonnado. The temps have been inching upwards all day and are now 2°C [36F], sunrise was at 11.22 am and sunset at 3.37 pm.

PS actually to be fair there is old folklore that elves and fairies appear on the Þrettándinn - Twelfth Night, January 6th. There are brennur [bonfires] held on that night also, and in some parts of the country people dress up like the king and queen of the elves and make an appearance at the brennur - for the kids, much like Santa Claus.

I feel vaguely guilty. I’d planned to send out a very ceremonious MERRY CHRIMBOS! type of post to all my lovely readers, but instead I’ve hardly gone near the computer for the past four or five days and it’s felt really good. So - a belated happy Christmas, and I hope your Yule was everything you hoped it would be.

Actually, it’s hard to believe that only four days have passed since my last post. It feels much longer, which of course is the thing about Christmas - you lose all track of time, or at least I do. I can never remember which day it is or how many days have passed or where exactly in the universe I am positioned, that sort of thing.

It’s been a great few days, very eventful, filled with joy and love and friendship, and happily a fair bit of LAZY. There’s also been time for reflection, which is good. Earlier today EPI and I were talking about Christmases past, the Christmases of our childhoods, and he was asking me something about how some tradition or other had been in my household. And I had to remind him once again of our differences, which is that EPI had a “household” while growing up, while YT did not. Meaning that EPI had stable childhood and upbringing, a solid family unit, strong traditions at Christmas, etcetera, whereas my Christmases were all very, um, diverse. They were held in various countries, in various households, with various people. I’ve even spent Christmas alone a couple of times. And, if the truth be told, more often than not I was miserable at Christmas [and not on the ones I spent alone - not at all]. The Christmases I spent with my mother and her husband, for instance, in their icy cold suburban house, getting presents that were the cheapest they could possibly get away with, were absolutely soul-crushing. Just as an example.

So I developed a serious aversion to Christmas, and by the time I entered adulthood I basically put all my emotions on ice in December and just plowed through, hoping it would soon be over. But then, surprisingly, a few years ago my Christmases started to get better, and in the past few years they have been wonderful. A lot of that is about having a loving partner to share them with, and being accepted and incorporated into a strong family unit, which has been amazing for me, not to mention enlightening. Also, letting go of expectations has helped a lot. A couple of years ago I woke up to the fact that I’d let go of expectations about how things were supposed to be, and so I stopped being disappointed and disillusioned when things didn’t turn out the way I wanted them to.* What freedom! Now I focus on enjoying things as they come and I only seem to have good experiences. I can’t decide whether it was like that in the past too and I just didn’t see it, or whether it’s because I’m generally much happier and so am attracting happier experiences. Not that it matters.

And now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to watch yet another episode of Grey’s Anatomy on DVD and relish the fact that I’m my own boss and I’ve given myself the day off tomorrow.

WE’VE HAD THE MOST PERFECT YULETIDE WEATHER
It started to snow on the 23rd and it’s stayed gloriously, magnificently white. I wish you could see how beautiful the city is with the fresh snow and the Yule decorations everywhere [of course some of you know just what I’m talking about]. Right now -1°C [30F] and the sun came up at 11.23, set at 15.33.

* Incidentally, I don’t want to give the impression that this just happened automatically. There was a lot of work involved. But somehow I didn’t expect that the rewards would be so great.

Poor AAH: just when the pressure is on, all her Christmas prezzies still to be bought, and she’s scheduled to work back-to-back shifts, she comes down with a case of food poisoning.

She believes a certain Ceasar salad is to blame, eaten at a certain cafe where she works. The day yesterday was alternately spent puking and screaming at the top of her lungs at the pain in her stomach; I wonder what the neighbours think. Probably that she was in labour, because that is about the only thing with which I can equate those screams. Well, that and having her fingernails pulled out slowly with pliers.

Today was slightly better, although she’s still walking around hunched over like an old crone. Nonetheless, she managed to surface from her predicament long enough to tell me a joke [what a trouper!]:

These three guys are at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted into heaven. Saint Peter tells them that, because it’s Christmas, they have to have something on them relating to Christmas before he can admit them in.

So the first guy pulls out his lighter, and says, “This lighter represents the light of Christmas.”

St. Peter says, “OK, you’re in.”

The second guy pulls out his keys and says, “These keys jingle like jingle bells.”

St. Peter says, “OK, you’re in.”

The third guy pulls out a pair of women’s panties, and says, “These are Carol’s.”

GORGEOUS DAY, CALM AND COOL
We had some hail this afternoon, enough to turn the ground white. Headed downtown today and everyone was in the Yuletide spirit. Ah, it’s nice. Temps right now are -1°C [30F] and sunrise was at 11.22, sunset at 3.30 pm.

Today I spent a full ten minutes in my local fish shop and when I got home I was forced to put every item of clothing I was wearing in the washing machine. Reason? Putrid skate day is coming up, and they had a handsome selection of raw pieces already in stock.

Dear readers, this blog has not been very heavy on the Yule lately, and those of you who have been reading alongtime may be asking yourselves where all the posts about the Yule Lads and Grýla and the Yule Cat are, whilst secretly wondering whether our YT is making only a halfhearted attempt at getting her Yule on this year. To which the answer is, not to worry, we’re getting our Yule on as usual, only when you’ve blogged about those crafty Yule Lads for three years in a row you get a wee bit weary because, let’s face it, there’s only so much that you can say about them, especially when you don’t have little kids any more that totally believe that there’s a new Yule Lad that comes down from the mountains every night and deposits a little gift in their shoe, not to mention writes them letters in Old English font.

In three more days it will be Christmas up here [we celebrate on the 24th] and, as a matter of fact, our particular Christmas starts a day early, on the 23rd, because that’s when YT celebrates her birthday, so everything has to be done before then. The more astute amongst you may recall that YT’s birthday happens to coincide with putrid skate day, and that for the last few years YT and EPI have been invited to a rancid skate party at EPI’s brother and sister-in-law’s place. Only they had the nerve to move to Selfoss earlier this year [boo!] so there shall be no rancid skate party this year. And before you ask, no, I’m certainly not going to throw one at our place because when you throw a rancid skate party every last object in the house becomes permeated with the smell which can only be described as a cross between ammonia and cat piss. Multiplied by about 1010. Right before the holiest of all holy days. I may be crazy, but I’m not insane.

OK. Let’s see. We’ve already done the Yule buffet, we’ve been to The Virgin, we’ve been to the Yule party at my father’s place for all the kids and grandkids. I’ve bought all the Christmas prezzies that I need to buy [I may have to assist EPI and AAH a bit tomorrow and the next day], and today we went out and did most of the grocery shopping for Christmas dinner and my birthday. Plus last night EPI and I went out and bought our Christmas tree from the charity in support of children with cancer. It’s sitting out on the balcony as we speak, because the tradition here is that the tree doesn’t go up until the 23rd [in our case the 22nd, for reasons above]. The only thing I haven’t done is bought myself any Yule Cat insurance [unless a pair of nylons count] because, quite frankly, I can’t be bothered to go out and buy myself a new Christmas dress when I have a perfectly good one that I bought last year and which I’ve only used, like, twice since then.

OK, the truth is I’ve developed a sudden fierce allergy to shopping malls and fitting rooms. The other day I went to Kringlan for the first time in months and within 20 minutes felt like I’d had all the lifeblood sucked out of me and was ready to crawl beneath the nearest clothing rack in a foetal position and just lie there until I was beamed up to the nearest Galactic spaceship. I took it as a sign to get the hell out of there, and to not go back until the hordes have left. Besides, the rampant consumerism makes me ill, as I alluded to in a previous post. I’ve never felt it quite this strongly before, but I certainly do now, and I’m sure it has something to do with some rather eye-opening, and perhaps even life-changing, experiences I’ve had recently [more on that later, perhaps].

I think I’ll leave you with a little story that I heard from my half-sister the other day. She has two boys [and a wee baby girl] and the younger of the boys [who is three] is just getting his head around the whole Yule Lad concept. However, he hadn’t quite figured out what it means when you get a potato in your shoe [it means you’ve been bad and it’s a Very Serious Matter] and when the first Yule Lad arrived this year, both he and his brother got a potato because they’d been naughty the previous day. However, he happens to like potatoes, so he came running out to his mom, all excited, and asked: “Can you help me peel it?” [D’oh!]

IT’S BEEN OVERCAST AND WERY WERY DARK TODAY
So believe me, I was grateful for my HappyLight™, which was on duty the entire time I spent at home. Although, to be honest, I’m not perfectly sure whether it’s making a difference, or if it’s all in my head. I mean, I think I have fewer SAD symptoms, but I’m still pretty tired and stuff, and it’s hard to get up in the mornings [although it might help if I went to bed at a decent hour, and not at, say, 2 am]. I’m not depressed or anything, though, and my concentration is back up to speed, so … maybe. maybe. Currently 8°C [46F], the sun came up at 11.21 and went down at 3.29 pm. Winter solstice tomorrow! Huzzah!

Christmas in Iceland is all about tradition, and for EPI and YT there quite simply is no freaking Christmas unless we get our Yule Platter at The Virgin.

In fact, this conviction has passed repeatedly through my panicked mind over the past two weeks, having been told that The Virgin was all booked up every day and every evening until Christmas and there was not a hope in hell that we’d be able to get a table unless something major happened, like a massive fricking storm that would drive everyone off the streets and into the malls. Which is exactly what happened last Friday. Whew.

The Virgin is the English translation of Jómfrúin, which is the name of a restaurant in downtwn Reykjavík and also a euphemism for ‘Danish woman who makes open-faced sandwiches’. Those open faced sandwiches are called smørrebrod and are traditionally Danish. In Denmark they have been elevated to a high art, so much that it takes years to be educated as a smørrebrod-maker, and those who actually graduate in the art of smørrebrod-making can officially call themselves jómfrú which in English translates into ‘virgin’ or, more specifically, ‘female virgin’.

Anyway, the owner of Jómfrúin is a man, and not just any man but actually the first member of the male gender to actually graduate as a jómfrú [geddit? He’s not actually a female, yet he’s a jómfrú]. And – predictably – the restaurant specializes in smørrebrod, a scrumptious selection of which they serve every day of the year [but only until 6 pm because true smørrebrod places are never open in the evenings]. During Advent, however, Jómfrúin completely departs from its regular programming and serves up a fantastic Yule Platter, featuring a selection of seven different tapas-sized dishes, plus a to-die-for dessert in the form of a rice and almond pudding served with cherry sauce [with real cherries] and whipped cream. YUM.

The Yule Platter consists of the following Danish delicacies [keep in mind that all this is of the highest quality, made from scratch by The Virgin himself, and absolutely delectable]: Pickled herring in a mustard sauce, crab tart with lobster tail, some sort of pickled chicken salad concoction, hot smoked duck breast, reindeer pâté, roast pork with rind and caramelized potatoes with brown sauce, and finally a slice of creamy gorgonzola with grapes, all served with pumpernickel bread and sliced baguette. Followed by the aforementioned dessert. Oh, and it doesn’t hurt to start the evening off with a shot of Aalborg Aquavit, served in an iced glass.

EPI and I chanced upon this hidden Advent treasure about six years ago when we were doing some Christmas shopping downtown and ambled into The Virgin on the way home because we didn’t feel like cooking. We were immediately bowled over and made a vow there and then to do the Yule Platter thing every single year, come hell or high water [like last Friday]. Something which we have judiciously adhered to ever since, sometimes alone, sometimes with friends. And clearly we’re not the only devotees because Yule Platter at The Virgin has become more popular year-on-year, witnessed by the fact that when I phoned to make a reservation at the beginning of December for, oh, around the 20^th or so, we were told that there was not a hope in hell of getting a table for the remainder of the Advent, unless there happened to be a last-minute cancellation, which was highly unlikely. Unless there was a tempest, that is.

WE HAD A BRIEF RESPITE YESTERDAY AND THEN – ANOTHER STORM
It’s getting so that you can set your watch by it … one day a storm, another day calm, next day storm, next day calm, and so on. Weatherman sez it’s because there was a huge low-pressure area that was broken up somehow en route to us, resulting in this chequered kind of weather. Whatever, all I know is that I went out for a walk today and there was not a dry thread on my entire body within ten minutes of walking out the door. I came back looking like a drowned rat. Then, this evening, EPI and I went out for a long walk around the golf course in relatively calm and absolute pitch darkness. Scary. It was a new experience for Yours Truly, and I remarked to EPI on the way that there were probably not many places in the world where you could walk outside like that in a remote area with not a light around, and still feel safe as houses. We’re in for some calm until tomorrow night, when we have another storm coming. Tsk. Still, we’re not getting barraged with snow like the northern US. It’s mild, in fact: 6°C [43F] and sunrise was at 11.17, sunset at 15.29.

Bye bye SAD
.

So, EPI went out yesterday and came back with a SAD light. Fired it up and instantly the place was filled with the light of a million suns … made me want to strip down and lie right in the middle of the kitchen floor for a spot of tanning. However I wondered what the neighbours would think – not about the nudity, but about the light. Through the window I’m sure our place looks like the inside of a nuclear reactor.

Be that as it may, we have high hopes for our new EnergyLight™. No later than by the end of this week I expect to be as perky as the model on the box, replete with perfect hair and straight rows of pearly whites. I turned it on this morning as I sat working at the kitchen table and … well … SADly I feel no discernable difference. In fact I’ve been schlepping my ass through the Gegend [one for you, my dear German readers] for the better part of the day, all haggard complexion and bleary eyes. Clinging to the hope that the effects won’t show up until later. Sort of like taking LÝSI.

Anyway, I did manage to complete the first phase of Operation Sara Bernhard cookies this evening AND make a batch of homemade müsli, so perhaps I’m underestimating the Power of the Light. Or not – I’m completely wasted right now and feeling like I’ve run a ten-hour marathon. My bed beckons. Ta!

JUST A FEW WORDS ABOUT THE WEATHER BEFORE I GO
It’s extremely dramatic right now – a real-live tempest, with sheets of heavy-duty rain just pummeling the windowpane. All hell has broken loose according to mbl.is – they’ve got rescue squads out all over the capital area. Roofing has blown off, cars have blown over, scaffolding and flagpoles have broken loose, in one place a barbecue went through a window and a camper was pulverized. Welcome to Niceland! Temps 4°C [39F], sunrise was at 11.06 and sunset at 3.34 pm.

Been suffering from Acute Cobweb Syndrome all day long on account of the copious amounts of red wine I drank last night while out enjoying a Christmas buffet courtesy of EPI’s employer. Actually, ‘copious amounts’ is probably a bit misleading - the fact is that I normally suffer from cobweb syndrome the day after drinking anything in excess of a single glass of red wine. Sadly, red wine and YT do not mix well. I love it yet it doesn’t love me. Sigh. Life’s a bitch, and all that. Boo hoo.

Anyway, ’tis the season of the Christmas buffet, meaning every company worth its salt must invite its employees out to at least one. And such is the demand that parties are booked back-to-back at restaurants and in our case we had to arrive promptly at six pm and be out by nine. Fair enough.

This particular buffet was held at Iceland’s Bastion of Beef, a restaurant called Argentina, which for about a decade now has been considered one of the classiest joints in town, not to mention one of the most expensive. Hence it was with some anticipation that our YT made her way there last night for the very first time, ready to partake of Argentina in all its glory.

Imagine my surprise, then, to find that the decor was much like a tired old steakhouse in any old suburb of any Western metropolis, all fake Tudor, plaster walls and exposed beams. And boy, was it a tight squeeze in there - the place is in no way designed for a Christmas buffet or parties of 20 or more. People were cramming into a tiny room off to the side to fill their plates, an undertaking which, note bene, was carefully orchestrated by the waitstaff and as such went off without any major disasters, but was still a bit unpleasant.

Be that as it may, the food was very good, although for a Christmas buffet there was only a limited selection of things to choose from - at least compared to some other places at which I’ve had the privilege of partaking. There was the ubiquitous gravlax and reindeer pate, both of which were excellent, and a pretty good roast beef that nonetheless was a bit tough [as all beef is in Iceland always - guess it must be the absence of tenderizer, which in turn makes it OK]. There was also an excellent Spanish potato salad, and a turkey terrine with wild mushrooms that was very tasty and unusual. Mind you, the whole thing was a bit heavy on the turkey … probably because turkey is a bit of a fad in Iceland these days, or has been for the last, say, 3-4 years. Adopted from somewhere - probably America [ooh, now I’ll get some hyper-sensitive American person in my comments accusing me of saying Iceland picks up all its bad habits from America] - and, like all fads to hit Iceland, it took off at a gallop and virtually everyone followed. Except for YT, because in my North American incarnation I ate enough turkey [and turkey leftovers] to last me until the end of my life and then some, so unlike most of my Icelandic brethren I really cannot get excited about turkey even if my life depended on it. But I digress.

Happily there were alternatives to turkey, like the filet of lamb served as a hot course [also a bit tough, but hey, who’s complaining, not me] and then there was the dessert buffet which bizarrely served up chocolate cake [i.e. like a devil’s food cake, not French chocolate] which to me seems like a totally ridiculous thing to offer people who have just stuffed themselves at an all-you-can-eat buffet. I mean, one slice is equivalent to a whole meal! Cleverly I sidestepped the cake and went straight for the homemade sorbet, the creme brulee and the chocolate cups with the mango filling [or whatever that was] and boy, those did not disappoint.

Final verdict: Argentina is not a comfortable place for a Christmas buffet, but the food is good, especially if you like turkey. 3.5 stars out of 5.

Afterwards a few of us headed back to a friend’s apartment, where some more red wine was consumed and we yacked away until the wee hours of the morning, telling stories and chewing the fat. A very, very nice evening. Very nice.

THE WEATHER GETS FIVE STARS OUT OF FIVE
Because it has been sublime. Finally, a few days of proper winter! Today it was brilliantly sunny and cold, and there’s snow on the ground, which is awesome. There was no wind, which just made it so delightful to be outside in the cool, crisp air. The only problem is that there are only about 4.5 hours of daylight in which to enjoy it - but then again, the sky has such a lovely pastel hue for such an extended period. It’s all in the perception. Temps currently -5°C [23F] and sunrise was at 11.02 this morning, sunset at 3.36 pm.