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Cheating #%&*-ing cod!

Sometimes EPI and I have the best time vegging on the couch and acting all appalled at some of the TV fodder we’re served up, particularly some of the idiotic reality TV shows coming out of the US.* Like tonight, when we landed on yet another thrilling episode of Cheaters.

For those that don’t know, Cheaters is a reality show in which people who suspect their partner is being unfaithful contact Cheaters’ “licenced investigators” in order to “exercise [their] right to be informed”. The investigators then follow the offending party around, take copious amounts of photos and/or hide cameras in bedrooms, etc. with the purpose of exposing the cheating partner. It all ends with a huge confrontation in which the participants display their most base and grotesque behavior. The whole nasty business is moderated by some holier-than-thou host who pontificates like crazy in a Jerry Springer-esque type of way. It’s completely revolting – and completely engrossing. I’m sorry to say.

ANYWAY!
EPI had this excellent idea tonight. We would connive a plan in which YT would contact Cheaters to follow EPI around because he was cheating, the bastard. I’d make up a tearful story and manipulate them stupid [not difficult] and in the end they would feel so sorry for me that they’d be losing sleep and would not be able to think of anything else. Anyway, they’d then follow EPI and ‘the other woman’ with their night-vision cameras into a park somewhere. Thinking they were home free they would move in for the kill but would see an astonishing sight: EPI and the other woman humping the trees. [Note: Not in the trees, but humping the trees.] EPI and the other woman would then sit down and they’d have some dried cod’s heads and would make the cod’s heads do the kissing, i.e. EPI would kiss a dried cod’s head on the mouth and then pass it to the other woman and she’d kiss the dried cod’s head on the mouth, and then pass hers to EPI’s for kissing, and so on, ad infinitum. And YT would barge in and start screaming at EPI and would call the other woman a f***ing slut and throw the cod’s heads all around, and the Cheaters’ team would never have seen anything like it and would deliver a special watershed episode on Cheaters with this totally perverted type of cheating going on.

[I swear, EPI was not on anything stronger than two glasses of red wine and a bowl of Ben and Jerry’s when he hatched this magnificent plan.]

OH BUT YT IS HIGH ON THE WEATHER
Plus really really really tired [and so easily entertained]. Worked mega-intensively today and didn’t finish until 8pm. The weather was cold and bright and filled with small-particle dust this morning, just like yesterday. But later, when I came out of the place I was working, it was raining. Somehow between then and then, temps rose and it started to precipitate on all the dust. Phew. At the moment we have temps of ° according to mbl.is [insert what you like I guess] and sunrise was at 10.28, sunset at 16.01. Only 27 more days until the winter solstice, whoo-hoo!

* To be fair, some of the very best TV programmes come out of the US, too: The Sopranos, Six Feet Under, ER – three of my absolute favourites.

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