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Christmas: the summary

CRIPES! THE SMELL!

Yeh, well. The skate party. YT ended her very lovely birthday afternoon by going to a rancid-skate party at EPI’s brother and sister-in-law’s. The smell wafted out to greet us way past the front door of the house and once inside it positively stung the eyes in all its ammonia-laced glory. Naught to do but imbibe some very potent (42%) Aquavit schnapps and dig in. It was YT’s first foray into the rancid-skate experience and blimey, that stuff will put hair on yer chest! A couple of Aquavits later, though, the smell-slash-taste became secondary to the sheer absurdity of sitting there with a bunch of very fun people eating putrid skate and laughing at the absurdity of sitting there with a bunch of very fun people eating putrid skate and laughing… well, you get it. It was all getting very existential by that point.

OH MY. THE NEXT DAY

YT got up and energetically carted her butt off to the fitness centre (ugh! Clammy sweaty air and stuck-up I-won’t-look-because-I’m-cooler-than-you people) to work out on the treadmill seeing as how it was Too Damn Freezing Cold to run outside. Never mind the heaviness in the head or the slight scratchy feeling in the throat.

Strangely, YT headed back home and promptly collapsed into bed with a high fever.

A high fever? Wait – this ain’t part of the plot! It’s Christmas, dammit, it’s not supposed to include…

Bzzzzt!

The doorbell.

It’s uncle B come to deliver some Christmas prezzies.

EPI: Hey! Come on in. D’you want anything? Coffee?

YT: Some flu, maybe?

UNCLE B: Oh, you’re sick too? That damn skate’s to blame, you know. I don’t understand why people persist in eating rotten food. The human race has developed an intricate sense of smell precisely to be able to suss out when food is not fit for human consumption. And putrid skate is not fit for human consumption.

So spake a very un-traditionalist Uncle B, beating a hasty retreat before he could listen to a discourse on how putrid skate actually clears the sinuses so is good for colds.

Anyway, old YT spent a horizontal day while AAH and EPI fussed about with the Christmas details. Then popped a couple paracetamol to reduce fever while Dinner was imbibed. And prezzies opened. Well, I held out almost for the whole thing. Was flaked out on the sofa towards the end of it, as AAH tore the wrapping off one prezzie after another. But it was a lovely, domestic evening all the same with my nearest and dearest at my side. Not to mention offering their frequent sympathies and waiting on my every need (which would have been utter bliss had it not been for the slight nuisance of a debilitating fever).

AND FINALLY..

Today, Christmas Day, YT was forced to remain in quarantine while everybody else went off to a Christmas party with EPI’s big and so-much-fun-to-be-with family. Sniff. Made the best of it by watching the 101 Best Moments in Show Business on E! which was surprisingly boring in light of the breathlessly exciting commercial hype that preceded it. Pfft! In fact, the best thing about it was YT actually sitting and watching the (mostly) empty drivel that is E! in her jammies without feeling guilty about it.

THE WEATHER

Has been dramatic this Christmas! Up north and out east there was a major major blizzard, with people being stuck in their cars for 12 hours on deserted rural roads waiting to be rescued and stuff. At Christmas, can you imagine. Can’t tell you what it was like around here ‘cause I’ve been in Confinement. But it looked pretty cold from the inside. Currently temps are around –3 degrees with slight wind. Now, I have to give you yesterday’s sunrise/sunset times ‘cause the paper didn’t come today and anyway we already know that the paper is bogus, but for what it’s worth: sunrise 11.23, sunset 15.32.

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