You hit a certain age and you realize that your dreams are not going to go away just because you ignore them. It always amazes me how almost everyone feels much better doing something they are second-best at, and wind up doing just that for their entire lives.
Is it because we fear not getting what we want? Or do we fear getting what we want?
Was out with a friend on Friday who has decided to make her dreams come true. She’s gone out and bought herself the dog she was never allowed to have when she was little. She’s given up her stressful job and is now at home, nurturing her creativity and learning a new rhythm in life. She’s planning her wedding to her boyfriend and is going to do it right this time (she’s divorced). She’s quietly carving out the life for herself that she always dreamed of.
Another friend decided to realize her lifelong dream a couple of years ago and bought herself a horse. It was amazing to witness, because something that to her had seemed so impossible suddenly became very simple, once she let go of her fear and made the first move. It was just a matter of defining the dream, calculating the cost, figuring it out, and taking the appropriate steps. Today she and her husband have two horses and have recently invested in a stable of their own, parts of which they rent out to other horse owners.
For me, something was set in motion two years ago, when I hit forty. I’d already realized some of my dreams, like having stability in my life and moving back to Iceland after spending most of my life abroad, but my biggest dream – the one I’d spent years trying to ignore – was still, well, being ignored. So I took one tiny step to make it happen and, amazingly, an avalanche of coincidences and serendipidous events were set in motion. I changed my life drastically – most notably by leaving my job – and took some time to work on making my dream happen. And no, I’m not going to say what it is because I’m still not sure if I’m going to make it.
Meanwhile, in being mirrored by my friends, I realize I have other abandoned dreams that need to be ferreted out, dusted off and examined. If I still want to keep them, they’ll need some space in my life. If I don’t want to keep them, I can discard them in good conscience. Ultimately, I know this: nobody is going to take responsibility for them if I don’t.
Has been fantastic today, so beautiful. The sky had scattered clouds that took on all variations of colours as the sun made its short journey across the sky. Steel blue, purple, mauve, gold – reflecting off the windows in our neighbourhood, making them look like they were on fire. Temps are still just below freezing, so the snow remains on the ground and in the mountains. The sun came up at 11.07 and went down at 16.03.