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Newsflash: hidden people to be taxed

So the guvn’ment has been bizzy bizzy these past couple of days introducing us to all the various new taxes and tax brackets we’ll be subjected to in the near future. It seems they’ve found a way to tax everything, from heavy industry to biscuits, and anything in between.

Predictably the media is all-abuzz with the changes, and the Baggalútur news service is no exception:

As we all know, the government plans to boost its tax sources substantially in the near future, with a host of new taxpayers joining the ranks of those who are already taxed to the max.

For the first time, elves and hidden people will pay income and capital gains tax, ghosts and other deceased persons will be made to pay a complex doomsday tax – and dwarfs, whose operations have hitherto been exempt from VAT, must now also pony up. It is not clear whether trolls will be taxed in this particular round, as tax collecting is fairly risky in their case.

Migrating birds will be made to pay a special sojourn and nesting tax, and land wights will have to deliver energy and resource fees on behalf of the land itself.

With these kinds of measures, we’ll be out of the kreppa in no time.

WEATHER
Temps have climbed over the last 24 hours, from a frigid 1°C yesterday to a balmy 7°C [45F] right now. The downside is that it’s set to start raining on us, and it’s already quite windy, which as we know is never nice. The sun rose at 10.07 this morning and will set at 4.16 this evening.

[Baggalútur = Icelandic satirists extraordinaire.]

[PS – I simply must call your attention to the amazing photographs that Alexander E. and LDE have been posting in the forums. Check them out!]

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  • Shannon November 19, 2009, 1:02 pm

    Too funny! Love it!

  • Daniel Hardarson November 19, 2009, 2:07 pm

    <3 great post

  • kevin o'connor waterford Ireland November 19, 2009, 4:06 pm

    Seems like you were all highly taxed before this all started at a Nordic level which is cool as long as you get Nordic welfare out of it. Here in Ireland with our with own Irish Kreppa,our governors tell us that the wealthy can not afford to pay more as the top 5% pay half the income tax, but unfortunately comrade citizens they also own 50% of the country, so comrades the time to reform the tax system is at hand tax wealth as well as income why is it the wage slaves get hit and not the capitalist capital gains,dividends,shares, etc etc and other financial shenanigans .time for them to pay up as it was them that was responsible for fings!!.
    For you downtrodden Icelandic masses that means the top 15,000 and thus bring about a glorious socialist revolution comrades.
    http://www.irishtimes.com/newspaper/opinion/2009/1119/1224259105938.html

  • Jessica November 19, 2009, 5:29 pm

    Well played, Kevin O’Connor. Thanks for helping me revive the word “comrade”.

  • James November 19, 2009, 6:06 pm

    A pity we don’t have any elves, dwarves or trolls in the UK, so humans will have to bear the brunt of our tax rises next year 🙁

  • Silvia Planchett November 19, 2009, 6:27 pm

    Some of the taxes seem just fine especially on those that can well afford it. Others are more questionable but I do like the sugar tax because we can all do without soda drinks and the like and be less of a burden on the state, medically speaking, by cutting back. I really think that further increases in the booze tax are not so good because I would have to cut back on the red wine and other alcoholic beverages that are getting me through this kreppa

  • Joerg November 19, 2009, 6:29 pm

    I would expect that hidden people use hidden money. So, the government might have to collect the taxes from some Tortola bank account.

    I’m sure, the tourists won’t be spared, they are always an easy prey.

  • Schnee November 19, 2009, 7:03 pm

    Trolls are obviously not the kind of folk (or fólk) you’d want to collect taxes from, but I doubt elves’d be much better. The elf queen might already be putting the bridle on her horse as we speak, and *I* wouldn’t want to cross her path…

    And I hear the outlaws aren’t exactly nice when you disturb them while they’re secretly rounding up sheep, either.

    🙂

  • Jeffrey November 19, 2009, 8:35 pm

    Of course, the trolls will have be levied on at night.

  • idunn November 19, 2009, 9:50 pm

    If not particular to Iceland, I wonder why some governments do not realize there is a balance and limit to everything, and instead of automatically searching for new tax revenue consider they need to tighten their belt, as with so many of their citizens.

    As for the wee people ever relenting to a tax, but a faery tale. 😉

  • alda November 19, 2009, 10:04 pm

    Thanks, everyone. 🙂

    Iðunn – oh believe me, we have plenty of belt-tightening to do, as well. There are cutbacks across the board, AND tax hikes. Let us not forget what happened here last year, and the mountains of debt this country now has.

  • Arthur K November 20, 2009, 8:54 pm

    @James – Nah. We UK-ers might not have trolls or elves, but we’ve got plenty of ghosts and fairies to tax, at least.

    Thanks for all the laughs in the midst of a terrible situation, Alda!

  • Lissa November 22, 2009, 3:25 am

    It is about time the vættir returned something for all those bowls of milk!