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Return of the googlie brigade

Dear readers: time for a handful of precious googlie morsels dropped by the Mighty Googlie in the Sky. Read them – and weep for the future of humanity.

There was the usual penis fixation:

pictures of penis in virginia of girl (from an undisclosed location in the USA)

usa big penic (from an undisclosed location in Iran)

i have a mall peins (Newcastle-Upon-Tyne, UK) – funny: we have a peins mall!

big penis from croatia (Zagreb, Croatia) – c’mon, there must be at least one

exposing my penis (Edmonton, Alberta) – a how-to manual for flashers

bare penis at the beach (US) –playing beachball, just generally chillin’

stressed out penis pics (Isle of Wight, Virginia) – chain smoking, perspiring, yelling at his wife…

pictures of penis before and after wash (Riyadh, Saudi Arabia) – is there a VAST difference? No wait, don’t answer that.

penis land (Athens, Greece) – Hi, I’m from Penisland. I’m a Penislander.

There was the usual s.e.x. fixation:

how easy is it to get laid in iceland (New York City police department) – New York’s finest, huh?

sex with american girl in iceland (Madison, Wisconsin) – that’s right, stick with your own kind. Call it safe sex.

to iceland have sex on the first date (Abbotsford, BC) – a bit far to go, but hey…

wery wery little tiny sex (Bavaria, Germany) – really, not wery much at all. Wery wery little.

enter porno (Antalya, Turkey) – stage left, prepare for soliloquy

a video of a naked girl being served for dinner on a plate (NY, NY) – by the Naked Chef, presumably?

how long after you meet someone should you have sex (Jordanville, Australia) – Honey, you need to ask yo’ mama.

And, as usual, there were a few earnest queries:

what is considered rude in iceland (Roosevelt, NJ) – Rude? We don’t know the meaning of the word. Farting, burping, elbows on table, shoving, barging ahead, picking your teeth at the table … anything goes here.

where to go to the bathroom in iceland (USA) – you know, we’ve heard of these glorious devices called Toilets that supposedly exist, but we use lava crevices and wipe off with 200-year old moss. Honest. We’ve built our entire tourism industry around it.

[I’m still away! More googlies here]

Comments

comments

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  • Jon July 24, 2008, 4:04 pm

    The penis mightier than the sword!

  • Cassie July 24, 2008, 5:18 pm

    Damn, I laughed so hard I almost stopped breathing. Stop that, will you?

  • Jessie July 24, 2008, 8:34 pm

    Hahaha! I’d like to apologize on behalf of some of my fellow U.S citizens, especially the NYPD… :/

  • Vikingisson July 27, 2008, 5:00 pm

    oof, funny stuff as always. I laughed so hard I nearly left on spot on the floor. 🙂
    search phrase inspection is always a treat. we hope at least that most are on target but always the mis adventures it appears some people are on. google the googlers is a fun game on a Sunday afternoon.

    for bonus points, how many of the nominees are hitting pages *other* than these google posts that do contain target hits? 🙂

  • Vikingisson July 27, 2008, 5:10 pm

    Ya know I take it back, seeding the weirdos with these posts isn’t a bad idea. Posting their google journey phrases attracts even more of the same type of google hits. Maybe that’s a good thing.

    But what if for every million anonymous users just one decided that your site was more entertaining and possibly thought provoking than the penis provoking or whatever it is they were originally looking for. We could slowly open the minds of the apparently insane web surfer.

    I’m not thinking ad revenue or expecting anything else from these nuts, just a visit and perhaps a redirect of their thoughts.