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The Lady does it in slow-mo

Went to see our third film tonight at the French Film Festival: Lady Chatterley, a.k.a. Where They Fuck All Over the Forest and then Fall In Love. It won a slew of French César awards, including best film and best actress, and seeing as how I’m a fan of French films and moreover of Lady Chatterley’s Lover [one of the most tender and moving love stories ever written in my humble opinion] and also a sucker for costume dramas set in England, I figured it couldn’t miss.

It … turned … out … to … be … the … slowest … film … I … have … ever… seen. To wit:

LADY CHATTERLEY: [to lover] What … is … that … sound …?
[15 seconds pass]
LADY CHATTERLEY’S LOVER: It’s … the … pine … trees.

Despite all that, it was good. Well, apart from the ending. Unbeknownst to me, crafty old D.H. Lawrence actually wrote three versions of Lady Chatterley’s Lover [too much time on his hands if you ask me, plus some of us have trouble finishing even just one novel … but then he probably had nought else to do but sit around and write] and this was not the version of which I was so fond [i.e. the one with the happy ending] but the second version [with the could-have-gone-either-way ending] that I did not even know existed. Boo. Plus the fact that films are hardly ever as good as novels as we all know, and very important elements were left out. Like the dichotomy between the hard, cold intellectual view of the world [represented by Lord Chatterley, who is a cripple] and the soft, warm, tender and erotic sensation of the world [the Lady and the gamekeeper], which is pretty much the salvation of humankind according to the novel, and far be it from me to argue. That wasn’t really highlighted as well as it should have been because, you know, it’s important.

As a matter of fact, I’m kind of amazed that it won Best Film at the Césars, because while it was very artsy and slow and everything [3 hours!] it certainly didn’t measure up to the film we saw last week, Tell No One, which was superexcellent. But then, maybe that’s just because I hadn’t read the book.

TODAY IT WAS UTTERLY GORGEOUS
The sun was out, and there was just the slightest breeze. A slight nip in the air, but nothing to warrant a winter coat or anything. The sea was so amazing in colour – almost perfectly still and shimmering a light shiny silver blue. And next week is Easter! How the time flies. It’s a five-day holiday here in Niceland, and if you’re planning on being a tourist here at that time you have my full sympathy because you’ll probably be eating at the Falafel House every night. Temperatures currently 3°C [37 F] and the sun came up at 7.01 [sharp!] and set at 20.06.

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