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The Plumber Speaks

Yesterday I had the great fortune of having a plumber here for the better part of the day, who knew absolutely everything there was to know about everything. And was passionate about sharing that knowledge with YT. To the point where it was difficult to ascertain if the plumber had actually come to repair a pipe or to take YT hostage. Some excerpts:

ON STRONG COFFEE
‘Weak coffee will kill you. They’ve done studies. My son is a mathematician and he’s worked it out that when you pour water onto coffee the first two times it releases oil and flavours, but if you pour it more than that it releases all these toxins that poison you.”

ON COFFEE IN AMERICA
“You can’t get good coffee in America. The only place to get good coffee in America is in the Polish quarter in New York City. I know because my daughter lived there.”

ON MAKING DECISIONS
“I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how we make decisions. Not we as individuals but as nations. It’s all in the rationale that lies beneath our thought processes. I’ve spent a lot of time travelling and thinking about this.”

ON THE CRUELTY OF WOMEN
“Women are a lot more cruel than men. They’ve studied it at Oxford. There’s this TV programme about ‘human behavior’ [he used English] that they keep showing on BBC Prime. They got this cute little dog – you know, really cute with the eyes and everything – and they said to people, ‘this dog shat on the floor and I want you to go in and punish it.’ The men went in and shouted at the dog. The women went in and… [long whistle]. They had to replace that damn beast several times because the women just… . This was a study they did at Oxford.”

ON REVENGE
“The best way to punish somebody is to use their own conscience against them. I know, because I was married to an alcoholic for 20 years. Whenever she’d disappear for four days straight, I’d go out and buy her jewellery.”

…. Needless to say, this guy was worth his weight in entertainment value. The only thing he didn’t seem to know was how to use his own plumbing properly and direct his urine into the toilet bowl, rather than on the floor all around it. Eww.

MEANWHILE WE HAD FINE WEATHER TODAY…
Even if there is a very slight chill in the air. The sun came out this morning and stayed out, albeit with intermittent clouds. Went for physiotherapy [bad neck, whiplash injury] and then to the pool to flake out in the hot pot and soak up some rays. Mmm, very nice. Our current temps are 12°C and daybreak was at 04.26, nightfall at 22.34.

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